May 02, 2008

roger williams is blue like jazz: part, the third

I think my desire to believe in a god other than Jesus had mostly to do with boredom. I wanted something fresh to think about, to believe, to twiddle around in my mind.
- Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz (p. 91)

One of the strains I struggle with in Blue Like Jazz is Miller's own frustration with self-imposed disciplines. At one point he teams up with some other guys who take on this austere lifestyle of prayer, a certain diet, and the study of scripture. Typical of such endeavors, once they all go their separate ways the discipline falters. So true. What Miller does in response, however, is what bothers me. He blames discipline for his failure to find God. He blames boredom.

I must come across at times like some drill sergeant. Discipline! We must have discipline! It's simply not true. I'm the poster child for the INFP-Adult-ADD-has-anyone-seen-my-keys lifestyle. I understand that faith disciplines do not exist to punish us, but to edify us, to help us find God. Not everyone is called to any one spiritual discipline. There are many gifts, says the scriptures. I usually add, "and each has its own set of disciplines." Miller's response to my frustration is found in the quotation above.

Boredom comes. He imagines himself as one of the Jews in the desert with Moses. "Are we there yet?" Yeah, now that's a truism for any discipline. It, like faith in God, is not here to entertain us. Boredom comes. There are times when we simply wander in the desert, unable to follow the same God we were so deeply in love with just last week.

Posted by tripp at May 2, 2008 05:31 AM
Comments

That's interesting. Growing up, I was taught that if I was bored, it was because I was being boring.

Is it possible to be boring in a relationship with God?

Posted by: Megan at May 2, 2008 10:10 AM

Oh, I completely agree with you on this. There are some days when it JUST ISN'T HAPPENING and it's really no one's fault - it just is.

Posted by: Scott at May 2, 2008 02:07 PM

Megan,

Is God bored with us? Nah. We're too much trouble.

;-)

Are we boring? Well...heh...that all depends. I, of course, am always engaging and fun. I shall not speak for anyone else here.

Scott,

Yeah. This is simply how it is. We cannot expect that "warm fuzzy feeling" all the time...or whatever it is. Sometimes we simply go through the motions. "Why are you so far away from me?"

Posted by: Tripp at May 2, 2008 05:34 PM

'Not everyone is called to any one spiritual discipline.'

Within the big tent of Catholic doctrine that's entirely true! One of my favourite sayings is that contrary to common knowledge traditional (pre-conciliar) Catholicism is not monolithic: many rites, many cultures, many theological schools, many spiritualities... for everybody from drill sergeants to adult-ADD types.

As for 'some days it just isn't happening' or 'that warm, fuzzy feeling', true but try 'some *months* or *years*', or consider the guide to this from the Spanish mystics like St Teresa: there's the first phase when you're free from the burden of your sins and all is sweetness and light; many mistake this for the third or union-with-God phase. And then, bam! There's the second stage, the dark night of the soul, spiritual dryness, which can be a long night indeed. (Mother Teresa of Calcutta's lasted for years.) The point when most people quit. And at last there's true union with God.

Posted by: The young fogey at May 3, 2008 08:48 AM
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