This morning the alarm went off at 6am. It actually woke me up. That almost never happens. I'm usually in bed waiting for it or down the hall reading and waiting for it. I hit snooze...three times. Then I struggled to get up and feed the cats. They were looking hungrily at my toes. It seemed wise to get up and offer them an alternative. But once the cats were fed I went straight back to bed. No coffee. No reading. Just bed. Trish and I stopped at a local 'Bucks for caffeine on the way to the train station.
I'm at the office now. I've done some work and I'll leave for a breakfast "meeting" shortly. I'm not sure if I can call it that since we have so much fun. But there it is.
Easter has exhausted me. And there is much more going on than Holy Week. Much more. Palm/Passion Sunday has extra significance to me now as well because of John's passing that morning. And now I find myself asking a question. How many of us come to Christ as people in mourning? I imagine it's more than I realize. Seldom do people seek out a spiritual center when their life seems complete.
This is the message of Palm Sunday. "Hosanna! Our life is now complete because the Savior is here to rescue us."
"Not so." says Jesus. "I cannot rescue you, but perhaps we can all be saved."
Yeah. Palm Sunday gets to that place somehow. "Hosanna" quickly becomes "Crucify!"
This is the thing that I am wrestling with again. A while back, Megan has asked me to post my definition of salvation. And I keep thinking I have one. Then something comes up, something that asks me to shift the definition of salvation just a little. Salvation is an unspecific virtue and occurrence. It's not a formula. It's a relationship. And thus it is fluid...slippery and often elusive. And it is often confused with rescuing...and some kind of euphoria.
Jean Vanier wrote:
Too many people come into community to find something, to belong to a dynamic group, to find a life which approaches the ideal. If we come into community without knowing that the reason we come is to discover the mystery of forgiveness, we will soon be disappointed.I need to get going to my meeting. My thoughts are more scattered and incomplete than usual today. So, bear with me in this post.
God created us to give and receive love. That love is often communicated in acts of forgiveness. When we receive forgiveness we receive love. When we actively forgive, we actively love. And this kind of love is sometimes impossible without the intervention of God's own grace.
*sigh*
Yeah. That's what I am chewing on this morning. Time for toast.
Posted by tripp at March 26, 2008 08:48 AMWell, I don't want to sound simplistic, but it wouldn't be the first time, ( Just ask Dave.), but it seems to me that you have had a lot on your plate in the last two weeks....it can be tiring enough just to have a week of Holy Week, and then to have a 'death in the family' is an unplanned thing you have to deal with. Perhaps you are depressed about that and mad about that death? It is part of the grieving process, yaknow. And after a big week of activity, it is sometimes the 'is that all there is?' letdown that always gets to me after some very important thing has occurred.
Oh, and you will say "but this was fun!" but you had the performances with the band shortly before that! I am always slightly depressed after a round of performances, and you didn't have time for that before you were called on to be "at it" again.
It has taken me a long time to just recognize what is going on and go with the flow, knowing that it will get better. perhaps it's a little of that bipolar thing that we all suffer from to some degree.
God, this is long.
Bless you, Tripp.
Posted by: susan Hedges - Dave's Mom at March 26, 2008 11:34 AMDave's Mom is wise. A little extra down time would not come amiss, after all the energy you've put out in recent weeks!
Posted by: Megan at March 26, 2008 12:42 PMthis kind of love is sometimes impossible without the intervention of God's own grace
"Sometimes" impossible apart from grace? Time to go back to your Augustine, Pastor.
Posted by: AKMA at March 26, 2008 01:02 PMYes, Father. Always. Always. Always.
But I like Chrysostom's take on it. ;-)
Posted by: Tripp at March 26, 2008 01:42 PMSee, the women want to help you feel better, the men want to make sure you get it right! ;-)
Posted by: susan Hedges - Dave's Mom at March 26, 2008 02:33 PMI, and my twisted sense of humor, find it funny that you ask the question, "How many of us come to Christ as people in mourning?" right after talking about how hard it was to wake up after Easter. Then I watched the video about coffee in the church and read some articles about commerce in the church and came to the conclusion that you really meant to say, "How many of us come to Christ as people in MORNING. I imagine it's more than I realize. Seldom do people seek out a spiritual center when their AFTERNOON seems complete." There's my 2 cents and boy are they worthless.
Posted by: obsquatch at March 30, 2008 09:01 PM