Have you ever had to start over? You know, when you are traveling along, sure you know the way you are going, and then you find yourself lost or simply in a different place than you initially assumed you were going? Yeah, it happens. Some people go to school certain that they will be lawyers, and end up being potters or contractors, or stay-at-home parents. We work and work, so certain that we will end up exactly where we expected when we took the first step on the journey. And then, somehow, we end up somewhere unexpected. That is what Wayne Muller's chapter is about this week. It is about the unknowing that is Sabbath. It is that admission that in the end, we cannot control everything, know everything, understand everything, or do everything. It's just life. And it is a hard bit of reality to swallow, I think. Wayne says:
Just because we are working hard does not mean that we are making anything happen. Our best-laid plans and goals and performance evaluations do not guarantee that what we desire will actually come about. They make us feel more confident or in control, but that is as often as not an illusion that may very well be shattered by the unpredictable unfolding of destiny. If we keep working, we feel we are actually controlling events. Knowledge is power, they say, and when we do not know, we feel powerless and afraid.Yeah. I get it. And he's right, it is a fearful admission. I would rather think that I have more control than I do. But, as Wayne suggests, there is all this other stuff.
We all learn this lesson somewhere along the way. It's the heart of disillusionment. I learned this first when my parents split up and have, like most people, relearned this truth again and again over the years. We think we know how relationships are supposed to run, jobs are supposed to function, when rain will fall, how cats will get along...but we cannot.
"Do not worry for your life, what you will eat, and what you will drink..." When I was in the Baptist Student Union in college, I chose this passage from Matthew's sixth chapter for my "theme verse." What is essentially a juvenile exercise of relating to the scriptures, has become rather profound for me. At 19 I chose this verse. Knowing has always been difficult...No, trusting in what I know or don't know has been difficult for me. I seldom trust what I am taught, read, or think I know. My mind is weak. Knowledge is ephemeral. Expertise is fleeting. This creates great anxiety. Wayne's chapter touches on this for me. And the passage from scripture has been my walking stick on this journey. Sabbath is the embracing of this tension, this anxiety producing truth.
Megan has posted.
Cristopher will post.