conjectural navel gazing; jesus in lint form

jersild day: a liturgy of panic

Today is Jersild Day (observed).

This is a special holiday celebrated by only the most socially crippled of society, namely, the friends of The Fiendish One, Sarah. She invented this holiday many, many years ago as a protest against all of the commercial (successful?) holidays Americans fall prey to during the year. Though observed by only a stalwart few, it is a festive time, challenging and rewarding for those who take part.

There are liturgies that are worthy of comment. Several secondary liturgies are bound within, precede, and procede from the Great Rite of Purification. To understand the Great Rite of Purification is to understand Jersild Day.

The Great Rite of Purification is the focus of much energy and excitement. Primarily, this involves the cleaning of Sarah's apartment. This is no small task and is undertaken by only the most devout of adherents to this social phenomenon. It takes more than one glutton for punisment, I tell ya!

As preparation for the Rite, the apartment is left unspoiled by cleaning products or organization of any kind for many months. This is, one may rightly assume, a time of preparation for The Fiendish One herself. Her focus is solely upon the theme for Jersild Day. This year's theme is "Guilty Pleasures." To come to this conclusion takes months of deep meditation, munching cookies, drinking fizzy water, and reviewing bad television. One should not attempt this without the proprer training.

Once the theme is chosen and the invitations to the adherents are sent out, Procrastination thus begins. Again, the apartment is left unspoiled. Ritual purity is a must.

As Jersild Day occurs in February, a cold month in northern climes, there may be instituted many Cold Dumpster Dashes. Again, this task is undertaken by only the stalwart, brave, and comfortably neurotic of the social circle. This year, many years of preparation behind me, I was once again allowed to participate in this ritual Dash. While helping clean the apartment (Maintaining Procrastination is a must!) six hours before the party begins, Jane and I Took Out the Garbage. This involves several trips to the dumpster while the temperature is well below freezing. No jackets may be used for protection. Again, through careful preparation (Heavy starch laden breakfasts are a good choice.), the brave adherents enter an almost berzerker-like state, frenzied cleaning and The Dumpster Dash ensues. This is a great honor. Being asked to participate in this Dash is its own reward. I have participated many times, but this is the first time I have been able to for several years.

Other rituals, cleansings, and procratinations will take place today. Panic will be their prime motivation. Eventually there will be a gathering of friends and favorites. There will be much food, social embarassment and neurotic tittering.

This is truely a great Day.

Posted by tripp at February 18, 2006 01:22 PM