December 21, 2005

father christmas

So, for various reasons I have been thinking about fatherhood this season. No, Trish is not pregnant. Boy, that would be news though. Wow. Anyway, I've been thinking about the nature of fatherhood again because of some posts on Cliff's blog ( quelle surprise) and Camassia's blog (another surprise).

One of the things I am wondering about is the idea that family should hold a particularly precious place in our hearts. Somehow, the love of/for family should eclipse all other loves. Cliff did not say this and Camassia did not say this, but somehow this is a vibe I get this time of year. Family, so we are told, is everything. We gather with family and friends. We trek, sled, haul, gather, meet and do whatever we can to be near family. Trish and I will put about 3,000 miles on the car this week. Don't get me wrong. I am looking forward to this journey. I am looking forward to seeing my family. So, get out of your head that this will be a diatribe against family. I ain't interested in that right now.

So, what makes Christmas so special and why do we focus on family? I think that they go hand in hand and it has everything to do with the Nativity and the Trinity. I am not even going to pretend that these are organized thoughts in my mind. So, keep up and good luck.

So, here are the things I know: God came into the world, incarnationally, by being born to Mary in a manger in Bethlehem. God came into the world to redeem the world. Some will believe God came for this purpose. Some will not. But this does not limit the purpose nor does unbelief dilute the effects. As we will see in a few months, the human response to this attempt and promise of redemption is pretty violent. We kill Jesus. We deny Jesus. But Jesus forgives us, blesses us and promises to return to us.

At this time of year, we Christians try to be cognizant of this reality and, in some very particular and profound ways, we remember this story with one another. We decorate. We buy gifts. We visit family and friends. Perhaps we are simply more kind in our daily interactions. You get the picture. Others, even non-Christians (gasp!) will participate in this celebration as well.

We wish one another peace and we try our darnedest to bring it into existance.

So, what does this have to do with Cliff and Camassia's posts on parenting and father/motherhood. Well, somehow it connects for me. I think we endeavor to treat everyone as family this time of year. We begin to recognise that God came to this world for all, not just our favorite people or our relatives, but for everyone and so we try to treat everyone as such. This is one theory at least. And this has evrything to do with fatherhood.

You see, if we run with the metaphor of fatherhood (leave the debate of actual fatherhood on the back burner for a second), and we understand fatherhood as sacrificial both through Christ's own sacrifice and through Paul's theology of family systems, then doesn't it stand to reason that we should all serve as fathers to one another? Meaning, our love for one another, that may be particularly exemplified at Christmas, is uniformly sacrifical and the particularities of family are only particularities and not "special relationships?"

If, as Christ said, he came to dismantle how we understand family, and, as Paul said, fathers are to be sacrificial in their love and leadership, and, just to top it off, we are all called to love as Christ loved, loving our neighbors as ourselves even if that means sacrificing ourselves in the process...because Christ so loves us...what place in the world has violence except for the place of sin? Even violence in self-defence is not virtuous but sinful simply because it does not reflect the reality of God's sacrificial love for all creation.

Christmas is a time when the lines that we have created that separate family off in tidy little ways become more blurred. I have brothers and sisters in Christ. I have daughters and sons in Christ. I have mothers and fathers in Christ. We are all called to "father" one another, to lay our lives down for one another as friends and family.

Okay. I think my brain just stopped. Sorry that this is chaotic and disorganized. Welcome to my brain.

Posted by tripp at December 21, 2005 09:44 AM
Comments

Chaotic and disorganized I can handle and embrace easily (and do, on a daily basis in the privacy of my own brain). :-)

Sexist, however... that I'm not so good with.

Fatherhood -- a specifically chosen word that includes only males -- as opposed to parenthood or just plain old love? Why?

I'm not going to do a Paul diatribe here -- you can just fill in that blank with the usual stuff about his misogyny eclipsing everything else -- but I'm disappointed to see you falling into the same trap.

Go ahead and apply fatherhood to yourself if the image works for you, but please recognize that it absolutely excludes more than half of us -- and that's not even getting into the question of whether one would want to be a parent or runs screaming from any suggestion that one would be such...

The family stuff and treating all the world like family -- yea, verily, absolutely.

Posted by: Meeegan at December 21, 2005 01:24 PM

Yeah, sorry about that. I am using the term simply because it is what Camassia and Cliff are using.

If fatherhood is a metaphor, as I understand it, then it is possible for any to father as it is possible for any to mother. I was crafting (used loosely) an argument within a traditional framework to avoid having to argue the whole "Father" thing again. Also, if one does hold to the whole fatherhood thang, sexist or no, the logic is even more strong and the traditionalists among us should be the mose pacifist. Somehow they ain't. I just don't get it.

Posted by: Tripp at December 21, 2005 01:30 PM

By choosing that metaphor, you committed yourself to the argument.

There are plenty o' non-sexist options available, and *that's* where your escape from argument lies.

Posted by: Megan at December 21, 2005 03:28 PM

Then how does one argue on the same terms/turf? 'Splain it to me.

Posted by: Tripp at December 21, 2005 03:45 PM

I don't understand the question. What do you want me to 'splain? (Or if that is too much, what do you want me to sum up?)

Recall, I don't visit Clifton's blog. I'll go follow the link to Camassia's to see whether that yields any light.

Posted by: Megan at December 21, 2005 03:57 PM