conjectural navel gazing; jesus in lint form

the place of experience

Here is some navel gazing for you.

I have been musing this morning on the place of experience in our faith journies. Some, it would seem, want to banish experience to absolute subjectivity. Others are so wed to it that it trumps all else. It becomes The Objective Truth. Some fall somewhere in the middle where experience is possiblty a signifier of God, but should not be taken too seriously lest we make an idol of our own lives.

But here is the thing for me. I tend toward the "trump" end of the spectrum. I know, this surprises many. But here it helps to be honest. I think that many underestimate the power of experience. It can overcome all thinking and education. It can overcome all understanding. One may understand that the church, for example, is supposed to be "X", but if we consistantly experience it as "Y", then the church is "Y". Nothing can undo what the experience has done. Experience, as they say, is reality.

A wise nun once said to me that "God requires the heart." Experience is the battleground of the heart. Experience is why some seek out congregations that embody what we believe to be true about the church. Simply holding the thoughts or beliefs on our own may not be enough. Others may find faith communities within artist communities, choirs, families, work, or the local gym. Experience matters that much. Our hearts may reside in our experiences.

Now, that may be a pretty hard polemic. I share it not to describe some prescriptive notion of church or any other Body. I share it as a descriptive. One may experience Orthodoxy as salvific. Thus it is. One may experience the baptist traditions as salvific. Thus, they are. Perhaps your marriage is where you experience your slavation to the exclusion of all other relationships and communities. T%hese institutions and relationships become the place where we place our trust. Other institutions fall to the side as "untrue" or "untrustworthy."

Our experience matters that much.

Now, it is possible that by making that much of experience, we actually make a mistake. I will admit to that. This is where our experiences run all willy nilly, confusing thought and perhaps keeping us from experiencing healing or enjoyment from other places and relationships. I certainly do this.

I have been pondering this stuff because of a couple of the comments to the post on Sunday School. In other conversations I have had about this post, it is very clear to me that our experience as children of church, scripture and community absolutely influences how we experience God's grace for the remainder of our lives. How we understand church, scripture and community, its trustworthiness and message may be dictated to us as children.

Stacy and Justin very much enjoyed their experiences as children. It has helped them to remain loyal to their traditions even in the midst of conflict. My experience was almost non-existant, and what I did experience was either vapid or superfluous. I came to God through another institution I trusted, the university...and eventually a monestary. Even as a pastor, I still struggle to trust the congregation/church. This is not to say that I do not trust the congregation/church. It is simply that I find that trust a challenge to maintain and uphold. Seminary and monasticism have always been more nurturing, more trustworthy...certainly not perfect, but a place of growth and well-being. I experience them differently, and that experience matters.

My experience is not to overshadow the experience of others by any means. It is simply my experience. But as a weak person, depending upon the support and kindness of community as the Body of Christ. I still find myself gravitating toward those places that hold me up, those places I first learned to trust, those places where I found the God I knew already resided in my heart.

Posted by tripp at April 28, 2005 09:03 AM