conjectural navel gazing; jesus in lint form

things to tell the shrink #6,465,582,271,832.98 - the overshare

Shitte.

You know, I said this twice tonight to different friends, but now I really wonder...is Chicago getting to me? Lord, I hope not. There is too much opportunity and possibility here. Reams of joy.

And yet, I am totally strung out. The closer we got to the city the more I was trying to find some way out. It's not that I can imagine living somewhere else, but I was trying to. O, was a I trying to.

Now, it is 2:47 a-friggin-m, and I just woke up screaming. It was silly, a perfectly great dream about playing golf with Tiger Woods and some other wiz...in the dream Trish asks me about King's book Children of the Corn and all my buzzers start going off. In a matter of seconds, Trish is shaking me awake because I won't stop screaming. The dream was not that frightening. I am more upset about my screaming than the dream. All I saw in the dream was a freakish femme with dark lipstick and a hotdog in her mouth. The subconscious is a bizarre thing. Though creepy, she was not scare-your-wife-to-death creepy. You know? I just hate screaming.

So, I automatically think "Gee, I must really want to be elsewhere else tonight." Then there is this quote from Mother Theresa of Calcutta in my email (Can't sleep? Read email.).

The world is upside down because there is so very little love in the home. We have no time for our children; we have no time for each other; and there is no time to enjoy each other. That is why there is so much suffering and so much unhappiness in the world today. Everybody seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for what is bigger and better and greater, and mothers and fathers often do not have time for each other, let alone their children. In the home begins the disruption of the peace of the world.

This is somehow related to the feeling I get when I drive over the steel bridge into Chicago on the Skyway. Too much happening...there is too much happening and I just cannot keep up. How the hell am I supposed to love someone with all this going on? Tangents are for the wee hours of the morning.

Yeah, this post is an overshare, but you guys can handle it. I am gonna get a glass of water and try to not dream about Stephen King, hotdogs or that odd woman. I want to know how the heck Tiger landed that shot. That was cool.

The Honeymoon was fantastic. I will give a full update this week.

Peace, gang.

Posted by tripp at October 4, 2004 02:52 AM