conjectural navel gazing; jesus in lint form

informal thank you

You are where you eat.

There were many amazing things that happened at the wedding. Jane and Cliff have posted brief missives, as have Susie and Justin. Mark spent several days in Virginia before making it to the celebration. I am hoping that he will get a chance to post pictures. So, go to their sights to see what they have to say. I am glad to have had as many bloggers at my wedding as were in attendance at the DNC. What a gift! Did anyone alert the press corps?

Another great gift came in the form of the dining room table pictured. Trish and I have been lusting after it for weeks...months, really. Our sainted friend, Amy Dale decided that something needed to be done about that. So, in her infinite sneakiness, she managed to get a large group of people to give to the Get This Table for Trish and Trish Fund. Many had already given us other gifts. Unbelievable.

When fully extended, the table can seat ten...twelve if you squeeze everyone in by putting two people at each end. When we return from the honeymoon, we will place the order. The generosity of this act is indescribable. I am not sure how to say thank you in a way that will suffice.

So, thanks. This means more than you know. Who wants dinner?

Here is the list of those who gave.

Marge Bailey
Ron and Donna Barlow
Emily Berger and Todd Guill
George and Annalee Bondurant
Pat Carlson
Blanca Chattin-Kacouris
Amy Dale
John Dawson
Fred and Donna Dickson
Randall and Sally Doubet-King
David and Susan Feiler
Randy Fleer and Greg Sabetta
Jim and Viola Fong
Don and Susan Gardner
Mae Groth and Justin Thornburgh
Carol McVetty and Doug Harris
Laura Harris
Sarah Harris
David and Stephanie Hedges
Robyn Henderson
George and Judy Hudgins
Bettie Austin Jackson
Sherry Nelson and Leo Mayol
Rudy and Loreta Mayol
Scott Melton
Masaru and Ethel Nambu
Pauline Rhiner
Barb Rosga
Frank and Diane Shumate
Jim and Theresa Shumate
Tara and Kevin Shumate
Verda Shumate
Evy Solis
Susan and Julian Sotnick
Brigit and Daniel Taylor
Ann Watlington
Carson Watlington
Lelia Watlington
Paul and Kazue Watlington
Samuel Artz Watlington
Brian and Danna Woodford
David and Teresa Woodford
Hans and Charla Woodford
Travis and Ingrid Woodford

Thank you all. A more formal "thanks" is forthcoming. There are too many people to list in one blog. This is a list of the crazy people who were tempted by Amy's plot. A long-arse list will follow.

699.2...

...miles driven in a day. Shortest route yet!

We are married.

We are home.

Tomorrow we leave for our honeymoon. Now, we unpack.

exeunt

wedding day

The hotel in Lynchburg has a public computer. This is good news for many, I think. If ever you find yourself in Lynchburg, stay at the Radisson. Good folk.

I was hoping to have something profound to say this morning. I got up early because I cannot sleep anymore...too muh nervous energy. Last night's rehearsal and the dinner that followed were fantastic. Seeing friends and family get along that well, if even for an evening, is the greatest gift I could imagine. It is not that they don't get along, but when families come together, it is good to see that there is the potential for strong relationships. My father horsed around with Trish's brother Adam. The myriad musicians play together quite well. Humor matched with humor.

I am also overwhelmed by the love shown. If you have never been married, I have not yet either really...but that is beside the point. I think I have figured a little something out. When people say that you will lose control of your wedding, that it ceases to be your's at some point, I assumed that it was the usual "show momentum." Events have inertia. This would be no different. I figured that the details and the planning would all take on their own life. This does happen, but the most important thing that I see happening is how the guests and family have taken the wedding away from me and Trish. It is quickly becomming their opportunity to celebrate our love for one another with us and to celebrate their love for us. We are the recipients. We just stand and are showered in grace and joy. I am in awe.

Golly.

Thank you for the gifts. Thank you for the surprises...especially the group surprise. Wow. "Generous" does not even begin. Trish and I were stunned.

I should go and get a newspaper now. Time to try to stay sane. Oh my. Too late.

Oh! Doh. AKMA, Si is amazing. Absolutely amazing. He was the best possible companion for the drive and the following two days of last minute errands. We will get him to the bus on time. To state the obvious, you raised a good kid here.

going to the chapel...

Well, I am off to get married to this woman.

See y'all later. There will be no posting for some time.

Note: You may find mention here, here, here, or even here.)

And this will be sung at our wedding. Trish loves it, thus there it will be sung.

Baby I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
& Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you
Baby, I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
You hung me on a line
Baby, I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Baby, I'm a man, oh baby,
I'm a lonely man who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand
Baby, I'm a man, oh baby,
You're the only woman that could ever help me
Baby, won't you help me to understand

Baby, I'm a man, oh baby,
I'm a lonely man who's in the middle of something
That he does not really understand
Baby, I'm a man, oh baby,
You're the only woman that could ever help me
Baby, won't you help me to understand

Baby, I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe, I'm afraid of the way I'll leave you
Baby, I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song
You right me when I'm wrong
Baby I'm amazed at the way I really need you

st stephen's musings and orthodox hoohaa

I have been following a post at Karl's place. It has been interesting. It is not as often as I would wish that Karl and i agree on these things, so I thought I would point you there. Also, I was thinking about the way that the Baptist tradition, in its history, has made a dialectic of community and the individual. It pertains to Karl's post and my agreeing with him.

Is there a possible Baptist conflict with notion that the Church forms believers? Is this contrary to Baptist thinking? Well, if you think about the SBC, they certainly believe that the church forms...they may even say demands. Now, they go about it in ways I question, but it is certainly there. It is also an historic principal that has surfaced time and time again in the earlier confessions. What has been interesting is how as America has become more and more individualistic, so has the Baptist tradition. It has been a hand-in-hand journey. The Methodist Movement had its part in this. "Spirituality is an individual journey." This poses the problems that Karl speaks of.

For the Baptist, when we go about it rightly, there is a balance. Individuals gather in community to inform one another and to be formed by one another. We find Christ in one another. We are to be Christ to one another. We guide, mentor, encourage, pray for and over one another. So, to my thinking, the things that Karl has illuminated for us are quite fitting and the extreme individualism that disintegrates community is not particularly Baptist as it has lost half of the dialectic that Baptists have historically affirmed. God comes to us as individuals, through other individuals and through community. You are not alone, it is that God does come to you as well as others. It is to affirm God's desire to be with each one of us, not to segregate us into distinct units.

It was interesting that in class this past Sunday at North Shore Bapist we were speaking of salvation versus deliverance. There is a lot of back story here, but suffice it to say that we realize that these are shadings of the same thing...but the difference they suggested was telling. Deliverance, according to the conversation, is a one time occurance. You deliver a package. "Salvation is an overarching theme in our lives," and is ongoing. Yeah...this was a Baptist who said this. Everyone nodded. They spoke of the need for community for this, the need for study and the need for the rich tradition of all our ancestors taking us back into the Old Testament stories.

Hmmm...is this an anomaly? Doubtful. I would say that I have always experienced this in the Baptist communities in which I have lived.

Now, if we want to get into "authority" and "power" and all that, well, again, we are speaking of a dialectic between the individual and the community (tradition? congregation?)...and the risk of splits and all that comes to the fore as we use the different poles of the dialectic as escape hatches from accountability to and responsibility for one another or as a way to suppress theologies that challenge us to think through our own...yeah...a doctoral discertation. Yay.

I have certainly erred in this way. I do not like challenge sometimes. I do not always want to be pushed by communites. I sometimes band with like minded people to ostracise others. Thsi is called "sin." It is not new. This is not a peculiarity of being Baptist. I think this is what makes being in community, (especially the church?) difficult. Why else would Paul remind us to be of one mind? Why else speak of the Body? Why else speak of equity and social life unless these were constantly being challenged by the desires of individuals over and above the movement of the Spirit within the Church since the time of Christ? We have always wrestled with this one. We are not witnessing anything new here.

Karl flatters me by responding to something I posted. Whew knew?

monday foolishness?

Here's a little Hauerwas for you to chew on this Monday.

What we call �church� is too often a gathering of strangers who see the church as yet another �helping institution� to gratify further their individual desires. One of the reasons some church members are so mean-spirited with their pastor, particularly when the pastor urges them to look at God, is that they feel deceived by such pastoral invitations to look beyond themselves. They have come to church for �strokes,� to have their personal needs met. What we call church is often a conspiracy of cordiality. Pastors learn to pacify rather than preach to their Ananiases and Sapphiras. We say we do it out of �love.� Usually, we do it as a means of keeping everyone as distant from everyone else as possible. You don�t get into my life and I will not get into yours.

This is the joy of cranky theology. He is interesting though.

Trish leaves for Virginia today. This is glad and sad. Glad because this wedding thing is happening...finally! Sad because I get to spend two anxious days without her. This makes me sad. It is more and more difficult to be away from her.

Si has invited me to play with him and his friend at an open mic in Evanston. They want some mandolin support. Thsi should be fun. He is coming to teh wedding and has agreed to be my co-pilot. We leave very early Wednesday morning for Huddleston. He is good company. It should be a good trip.

So, today and tomorrow at the hospital. Wednesday we drive. Thursday we get the marriage license. Friday we practice the Thing. Saturday we do the Thing. Sunday we get the rental van...or something. Monday we drive. Tuesday we leave for the vacation home. Wednesday through Saturday we do nothing at all. Thanks be to God.

night shift

Charlie is married! Charlie is married. I will be married in a week. Nmf.

Tonight I work from 5:00pm-12:30am at the hospital. I don't know how this will go. It is impossible to judge. The day chaplain kept very busy. So, I grabbed a chef salad and a book. I grabbed the salad because it will keep well into the evening. The book is a sign of my wishful thinking and a great deal of prayer.
"Please, Lord, make it a boring night."

We shall see. I am in the ED, and there is a call coming in. I dunno who it is for. Maybe it is for us.

___________________

1:18am Chicago, IL

It was not. And it was a very quiet night. I was almost bored. Excellent answering of prayers there, God. Well done!

So, now I can let this cold of mine take me for a day and maybe rest some. I could go to church tomorrow morning, and just may, but I could also lounge around and get some other things done. I have a verbatim to finish for Monday that I did not finish tonight.

Trish is out with some friends. This is night two of the Great Bachelorette Party. Oy. I wonder if I will see her before three. Hah.

And on a completely different note, here's a little something from Thomas Merton.

The importance of detachment from things, the importance of poverty, is that we are supposed to be free from things that we might prefer to people. Wherever things have become more important than people, we are in trouble. That is the crux of the whole matter.

This was from Bruderhof again.

really?!

(from left to right) Sherrill, Baillie, Juhanon, Bell, Michail, Dibelius, Barbieri.

The picture is of past presidents of the World Council of Churches.

Evanston after fifty years

By Norman A. Hjelm (*)

It is fully half a century since the second assembly of the World Council of Churches was held in Evanston, Illinois. To date, this is the only WCC assembly to have been held in the United States. Incumbent US president Dwight D. Eisenhower welcomed the delegates and, speaking as "a single member of one of the constituent bodies of this council of churches", challenged them to mobilize their communions for "an intense act of faith" that would summon Christians everywhere to "the devotion, wisdom and stamina to work unceasingly for a just and lasting peace".

Over the course of fifty years, experiences fade and even memories are blurred. So it is with the Evanston assembly, held in August 1954. At least so it is to this person, now a retiree but then a youth delegate. But two personal experiences, never to be recorded in official annals of the assembly, stand out. Both were striking to me in 1954, and both reflected major concerns facing the World Council of Churches at the time.

The first memory I have was of a service of worship which brought together youth from many parts of the world. It was held in one of the Evanston parish churches, attended by several hundred persons. What I remember most clearly was how startled - if not offended - the German participants were at the choice of the opening hymn for the service. The hymn, sung from an American Lutheran hymnal, was "Glorious things of thee are spoken". The words were fine, by John Newton, but it was the melody! It had been written in 1791 by Franz Joseph Haydn: "Gott erhalte Franz den Kaiser". Not only was this melody subsequently used by Haydn in a string quartet, it later became the German national anthem, as it continued to be at the time of World War II, with the all too memorable opening line "Deutschland, Deutschland, �ber alles". To sing this melody seemed blasphemous to German participants. After all, the Evanston assembly was held only nine years after that war's end, and the wounds were not yet healed.

The fact that this was only the second post-war assembly was marked throughout the event. The assembly's theme itself, Christ - the hope of the world, set off theological fireworks not unrelated to the experiences of war. Europeans tended to view this theme in apocalyptic terms, a view dominated by the world's apparent hopelessness as demonstrated through the war. North Americans, on the other hand, tended to view Christian hope progressively, hailing present efforts towards building the kingdom of God in the midst of human society. The major addresses by Edmund Schlink of Heidelberg and Robert Calhoun of Yale stood in stark contrast to each other. In many ways this division now seems pass�, to some at least, but in the development of many churches and individuals (myself included) these "sharp differences in theological viewpoint", as an Evanston report put it, were and remain important.

The second memory I have is a private one. The Evanston assembly was held in the United States of Dwight Eisenhower, but the ascendancy of Senator Joseph McCarthy was soon to achieve its zenith. There was a hesitancy on the part of the American government to grant visas to many, particularly persons from Eastern Europe who might have presented what is now called "a security risk". Nevertheless, certain Eastern European church leaders were allowed to participate in the assembly, although most often they were not allowed to leave the quiet university town of Evanston. Someone asked me - I can't believe it was any kind of official request - to spend time with and keep my eye on L�szl� Dezs�ry, a Lutheran bishop from Hungary who, we later learned through bitter church experience, probably had a greater allegiance to his government than his church. This was a daunting assignment for a twenty-three-year-old seminary student. The bishop was allowed to go with me to the assembly service at Soldiers' Field in Chicago, a service attended by more than 100,000 persons. We marched together in the procession when suddenly we were each pointed in a different direction - and ended up on opposite sides of the enormous football stadium. I thought I was part of an international incident�

Thus was it first demonstrated to me that not only were governments on opposite sides of the Iron Curtain, but churches themselves were separated from one another on political and ideological grounds. The World Council was just feeling its way out of the climate created by World War II, and feeling its way into a new situation - East / West - that was to last for another thirty-five years. At Evanston, perhaps, we did not know quite what we were getting into.

The assembly, of course, was a major step forward for the WCC. It has often been said that if the motto of the first assembly at Amsterdam in 1948 was "staying together", the watchword at Evanston was "growing together". In fact, in reaffirming the Amsterdam covenant, the Evanston assembly stated: "But beyond that, as the Holy Spirit may guide us, we intend to unite."

There were seeds planted at Evanston in a host of fields, among them:

A theological statement concerning the assembly theme was received from the Roman Catholic Church. It came too late to be acted on, but it was a harbinger of what would become normal ecumenical practice after Vatican II.

Debate over the assembly theme included a reference to Christ as being "the hope of Israel". This phrase produced a jarring conflict and was dropped f rom consideration. This was not a high point of interfaith dialogue.

The Amsterdam view of a "responsible society" was clarified and sharpened at Evanston, a crucial step - now of primarily historical interest - in the development of ecumenical social thought.

The report of the assembly section on "The churches amid racial and ethnic tensions" resulted in the establishment of a WCC department for racial and ethnic relations. That department, in turn, paved the way for the later creation of the Programme to Combat Racism.

There was serious discussion of religious liberty in international perspective that led to the establishment in 1958 of a WCC secretariat for such questions.

One other event at Evanston made an indelible impression on this youth delegate. It was the address "An instrument of faith", given on 20 August, 1954 by Dag Hammarskj�ld, secretary-general of the United Nations. Rarely would the World Council of Churches receive so moving and important a statement from one of the century's towering statesmen. His address became for many, including myself, a precursor to his posthumously published Markings, one of the few truly great spiritual classics of the 20th century. The final words of his Evanston address epitomize for me the entire assembly (I quote from the report on the main theme of this assembly).

"For the Christian faith 'the Cross is that place at the centre of the world's history � where all men and all nations without exception stand revealed as enemies of God � and yet where all men stand revealed as beloved of God, precious in God's sight'. So understood, the Cross, although it is the unique fact on which the Christian Churches base their hope, should not separate those of Christian faith from others but should instead be that element in their lives which enables them to stretch out their hands to peoples of other creeds in the feeling of universal brotherhood which we hope one day to see reflected in a world of nations truly united."

Today the World Council of Churches looks forward to convening at Porto Alegre in February 2006. Its 9th assembly will be held in a different climate, a different culture, a different continent. But though times and seasons may have changed during the fifty years since the second assembly at Evanston, the challenge before us endures. Even more enduring is Christ - our hope - who continues to assure us of God's gracious will for the transformation of the world.

(*) Norman A. Hjelm is a a former director of communication and subsequently acting deputy general secretary of the Lutheran World Federation. He attended the WCC assembly in Evanston as a youth delegate.

link

friday...

It is what it is, you know? This hospital gig has its challenges, but I am slowly easing into them as other Way The Hell Important things get checked off the list.

Ordination prep: DONE - all the paperwork is in. I have my final meeting October 14.

Wedding Rings: DONE

Reception: DONE

Service: almost there...

We are about at that time when this ting takes on a life of its own. Oy.

Then, after October 14th I can finish up my thesis. I will certainly work on it before then, but we are not due back from the Honeymoon until the 4th. The catsitters are all lined up. This is a generous gift of time from some friends.

I learned a couple of things today.

1. FILL OUT YOUR ADVANCED DIRECTIVES NOW! Do not pass go.
2. There may actually be no such thing as a routine surgery.
3. There is no such thing as a pastoral emergency.

So, that was today's learning. Pax, gang. I am gonna be busy this weekend. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow. I am also on call tomorrow night. I may be skipping church Sunday morning. The rest may be necessary.

Urf.

Adieu.

other ramblings

Okay...maybe I won't go back to bed.

On Sept. 17, 1862, Union forces hurled back a Confederate invasion of Maryland in the Civil War Battle of Antietam. During the battle, 23,100 were killed, wounded or captured, making it the bloodiest day in United States military history.

Okay, so we Southerners obsess about the Recent Unpleasantness...still, maybe we should all try to remember just how massive the Civil War was.

Here is a link to an Op Ed piece I found interesting. I love spin. But I have also been wondering this as well. Hmm...

A new report on Iraq's illicit weapons program is expected to conclude that Saddam Hussein's government had a clear intent to produce nuclear, chemical and biological weapons if United Nations sanctions were lifted, government officials said Thursday. But, like earlier reports, it finds no evidence that Iraq had begun any large-scale program for weapons production by the time of the American invasion last year, the officials said. -NY Times

Oy. Rocket Science still troubles me, but this was pretty obvious. We need a special committee to tell us these things?! Wuf.

President Bush, who has said Iraq posed a threat to the world whether or not it possessed illicit weapons, will probably draw attention to the conclusion that Mr. Hussein sought to acquire illicit weapons. His political opponent, Senator John Kerry, who has accused Mr. Bush of misleading the country into war, will probably highlight the conclusion that Iraq had not begun a large-scale production program.

Who knew?!

And here is something from Mrtin Buber. I like Buber.

Once they told Rabbi Pinhas of the great misery among the needy. He listened, sunk in grief. Then he raised his head. �Let us draw God into the world,� he cried, �and all need will be quenched.� God�s grace consists precisely in this, that he wants to let himself be won by humanity, that he places himself, so to speak, into human hands. God wants to come to his world, but he wants to come to it through men and women. This is the mystery of our existence, the superhuman chance of humankind. - Bruderhof Communities passed this on to me.

cause and effect

Harumph.

So this morning I awake to a sore throat. It bodes poorly. It will be a massive sore throat. I can just feel it. You know the kind? Laryngitis will strike. Sinuses will be inflamed. Breathing is something you notice because everything is so completely flooie in your head. Swallowing, of course, sucks...hurts too.

So, being a member of MENSA, I asked myself, "Self, how could this have happened? We almost never get sick. Why, we are virtually bulletproof!" I pondered. Then that wonderful reality check struck.

Except for the last couple of nights, sleep has been secondary. From Sunday through Wednesday I managed to get an average of four hours a night. The last couple of those days, I was awake for almost thirty six hours straight. Compound that with the stress from all the "transition" that is my life at this point and you might have a reason. Then, add a dash of the obvious. I just started work in a hospital.

Yes, I wash my hands. I keep my coffee cup clean and away from patient rooms. Nevertheless, germs are agressive and opportunistic buggers. I got germs in spite of my best attempts to be germ discriminatory. I wonder if my property values will go down.

And, it would seem, that I am punchy and nonsensical. Excellent. So, today I will venture to the hospital, go to Morning Report where the pastoral issues from the previous evening shifts are read to us, and venture to employee health. There I will make an appointment to get yet more vaccinations and see if someone will look at my throat to make certain that I have not cought the plague.

This may be a momentary glitch of nothing. A couple rounds of vitamin C and a saltwater gargle clears up a lot. Then again, the beginnings of strep could put a damper on the wedding. Sigh.

Y'all have a great day. I plan on it in spite of this mess. It is 60 degrees and the breeze is blowing. It is good sleeping weather. Perhaps I'll grab the remaining 30 minutes I alloted myself...deo volente.

ring a ding ding

Wow.

The rings arrived. Wow.

I think we are getting married.

Oy.

I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine. Who knew?

the liturgy of a generation

Here is a quote that made me laugh aloud...except I didn't as I was in the Emergency Room at the hospital waiting for someone to leave us. I thank God for moments like these. Please excuse my sentimentality...I have been here for fourteen hours already.

"But clearly, in our generation Tripp and I are weirdos."

Thank you, Camassia. This is the highest form of flattery.

vesting in the blue coat

Vesting is a peculiar act to me still. It serves as some sort of punctuation. I really cannot describe it.

Tonight I am "tagging along" with one of the staff chaplains...from 5-12:30. It makes for a late night to be certain. I am a little excited and a little nervous. Tonight is a new moon and a Monday. Both, according to hospital lore, suggest a busy night. I guess I will figure out what that means soon enough.

So, on with the long blue lab coat. Interesting vestments.

Peace!

9 redux

This is a re-do. Urf.

9. What does ordination mean to you? Why have you elected to be ordained to the Gospel ministry or have your ordination recognized in the ABCUSA? What experiences led you to make this choice?

Much of my thinking on ordination is in essay seven. Simply, it is a precarious walk. Ordination is granted and upheld through relationships of trust as the Spirit leads and promises.

I believe that God has asked me to be in the ABCUSA. When I first worshiped at North Shore Baptist Church, I was pleasantly surprised. I saw an ordained woman in the pulpit preaching a sermon about Henri Nouwen, a Catholic, and his idea of the ?wounded healer.? In the congregation were people of a variety of ethnicities. Coming from Virginia and the strife that exists there between Baptist bodies, this was a welcome sight. I felt at home immediately. I have served as a musician and youth minister in several churches representing many denominations. Nowhere had I been made to feel so welcome with my questions and theological peculiarities.

Being engaged as I have been in ecumenical communities since my original venturing into Christian community, my theology reflects many traditions at once. Before encountering the American Baptist witness, no singular tradition ever seemed welcoming. I was baptized as an infant, and yet I am a proponent of believer?s baptism. I think congregationalism has much to offer the wider Universal Church, and yet congregationalism can divide us, making for perhaps as much strife as it originally tried to avoid. I perceive a singular Universal Church. I find the historic creeds useful tools to demonstrate Christian distinctiveness. I even believe in terms of sacraments and not ordinances. Perhaps I have been exposed to too much variety. Nonetheless, North Shore Baptist invited me into their midst as a brother. This embrace of diversity, even theological diversity, was the greatest possible gift I could receive from a congregation.

My experience of the denomination at the recent Biennial has presented me with the same attitude. There is a rich diversity to the ABC. Minorities and women possess leadership roles. Diversity is celebrated, again, even theological diversity. There are a variety of theological tradition alive in the ABCUSA. American Baptists appear to embrace other theologies and traditions, even some that may not be traditionally Baptist, with a great deal of tolerance, even excitement. Such scholars as Molly T. Marshall and Bob Webber demonstrate this reality in ABC seminaries as well. They are challenging the bounds of Baptist theologies and traditions while attempting to understand their own relationship to those traditions. Their witness gives me strength to live in the tensions of my own theological life.

Another great influence and support is the witness of my stepmother?s father, Dr. Paul Watlington. He lived his life as a Baptist minister pushing congregations to integrate even as early as the 1940?s. He encouraged women into ordination. He served as an example to me how one can both hold a rigorous personal faith while allowing others to explore and push boundaries of tradition and thought. His life was a great gift to me. He encouraged me to engage Baptist life in college through the Baptist Student Union and when I first went to seminary at The Baptist Theological Seminary at Richmond.

Through my grandfather, a Baptist minister, and the witness of North Shore, I have come to love the Baptist tradition and the ABCUSA with all of its gifts and foibles. I am willing to stand in the tensions because it has been my experience that the ABCUSA will provide both challenge and support for my ministry. This journey of study and discovery is hardly over. The ABCUSA has been an excellent home for my growth to this point. I have no reason to believe it will not continue to be so.

2, 5 and 6

Here are the missing essays. Thanks again to all who chime in...or politely keep quiet as not to upset this heretic. Ha! Cliff, you, of course, may feel free to upset the heretic. The rest of you know who you are.

end: punchiness

2. What philosophical and theological systems underlie the cognitive side of your faith?

I am, first and foremost a liturgical theologian. This always takes people who are knowledgeable about liturgy by surprise as I am Baptist. What possible interest would a Baptist have in liturgy as, stereotypically, we have none? We Baptists know that this could be no further from the truth of our tradition. We know the evocative power of ?right worship.? We know what the preached word can do for and to a soul. We know how a well-written and well-sung hymn can move a believer. We know the power of prayer. We also, as revealed in our tradition, know what it is we are leaving out of our liturgy and for what reasons it is made absent.

Liturgy literally means ?the work of the people.? Liturgy is not passive. It is not a spectacular show to entertain people on Sunday. If we have any pitfall as Baptists, it is this one. If we are honest with ourselves, we know that our tradition runs the risk of creating congregations that a re cults of personality surrounding a good preacher, or a good choir or music program. This is not our struggle alone, of course, but it is a strong tendency in our tradition.

It is our current dilemma, as illustrated through the work of Robert Webber and others of the Emergent Church Movement, that through our desire to not say certain things that we have lost all substance to our worship. It has become a show, a Sunday morning lecture series. It can be a battleground for musical taste and not an expression of faith or an opportunity to shape Christian faith. The ?work of the people? should have context and direction. Liturgy, worship, is both the context for and the expression of our faith and tradition. We express what we believe through worship and we are formed by its substance.

Through my study of liturgy with scholars such as Ruth Meyers, Ed Phillips, Bob, Webber, Gil Osdiek and Don Saliers, I have had the incredible good fortune to have read through and studied centuries of liturgical expression. From the Didache and the Apostolic Traditions to the Rites of Christian Initiation for Adults, the church universal has expressed its core beliefs through its liturgy. Even John Calvin, the great Reformer, understood the power of the liturgy and eventually would settle upon only a modified Catholic rite during his lifetime. He wanted more liturgy and not less, he wanted more formation and not less. Calvin wished for a weekly eucharist and daily prayer services. I am a great fan of John Calvin and his liturgical impulse is a promising aspect to his theology.

I am a Christian humanist in the classical definition. Ad fontes, ?to the source?, was the cry of Erasmus and Calvin. The desire to uncover the initial desire, the initial reflection of the truth as revealed to the early church is compelling. This is the work of many theologians to whom I have found myself drawn. Calvin, Bonhoeffer, Hauerwas, Long, and even such ?Radical Orthodox? as Newbingen all reflect this desire. Our age, according to many, is so like the situation of the early church (religiously plural, culturally diverse) that it serves us well to return to its witness to uncover its wisdom so our faith may speak to us again. This is a Post-Modern, Post-Enlightenment Age. It is ironic that we must return to the humanist call of ad fontes, the call of those who arguably led us into the Enlightenment, to lead us out of it. We are in a stream of tradition. That stream is related to other Christian streams. By walking back down those streams, through history, liturgy (worship), theology (study) and witness (ministry and evangelism) my thinking is shaped and formed continually.

Ecumenism and Christian reconciliation have certainly had their hand in shaping my understanding of Christianity. Living and working in an ecumenical retreat center for four years had a deep and lasting effect on how I live into my faith. The work of Nicholas Sagovsky and Geoffrey Wainwright have been my most recent foray into thinking about ecumenism. Can we use the Lord?s Supper as a tool for reconciliation and not division? Liturgy can be a means of reconciliation and mutual experience. It can stretch our thinking and our understanding of the myriad Christian voices in the world.

Finally, I am a musician. It is hard in our tradition to separate music and liturgy. Perhaps it is wise that we should not, but I would be remiss to ignore the incredible influence music has had in shaping my faith and my life. Taverner, P䲴, Rutter, Proulx, von Bingen, Palestrina and others have fed me as a musician and as a Christian. I was brought to the faith through the singing of Byrd and Tallis. There is a luminous beauty in polyphony. There is a great joy in the singing of those rich harmonies a cappella. There is a unity felt between the singers when you are able to lose yourself in such wondrous song. I have felt a similar joy when I sing Taverner or P䲴. The stark beauty, the beautiful simplicity of this music evokes a raw spirituality in me that I cannot put into words.

The singing of words from scripture or traditional prayers shapes thinking and belief. The lilting of a chant allows one to hold on to words that normally might escape us. The familiar melody of a hymn might being comfort and strength in times of trouble. Music shapes belief. One of my favorite pieces has the following lyrics: Hodie Christus natus est; hodie Salvador appaurit; hodie in terra canut angeli, letantur archangeli; hodie exultant justi dicentes: Gloria in escelcis deo. Alleluya! This is the translation:

Today Christ in born; today the savior has appeared; today the angels sing on earth, the archangels rejoice; today good people exult, saying: Glory to God in the highest. Alleluia!

Even before I would ?agree? with such a statement, these words were working in my heart. Music is a way to enter into the tradition of the church, a way of prayer and praise. It is formative and evocative. It bridges the gap that exists for some between theology and spirituality. Hymns are theology set to music. All good service music is this.

5. How do you understand the authority of the Bible? In what ways does the Bible function in your life?

At the most basic, the New Testament is a collection of stories and letters from the period when the church was first being formed. It is a document. As the church established itself, the canon, both Old Testament and New Testament, came into being. It is an expression and catalogue of the desires, theologies and experiences of God in worship, prayer, ministry and the daily lives of people.

At its most profound, the Bible is the living Word of God. It is God?s revelation to God?s people, providing a theological compass for the believer. It is the collected revealed wisdom of what it is to be Christian.

It is for both of those reasons that I struggle with this question. The Bible is an historical document. It is also the living Word of God, speaking to us this very day. To either extreme in this dialectic, the Bible never exists in a vacuum. It is not a stand alone document. It emerges from the growth of tradition within the Church. It critiques the same Church. In my mind, it is the preeminent voice of the Church, but it is not the only voice.

As the Word is living, it guides our lives. As the Word is living, we are in dialogue with it as we plumb its depths, allowing its words to challenge us, to shape our hearts and minds into the will of God. The traditions of the church also have voice. We know this through the variety of interpretations of scripture from the Church Fathers and Mothers to the present. The Reformers themselves were engaged at rediscovering the tradition of the church that proclaimed the living Word and that shaped the living Word. They both challenged and were challenged by what they discovered in their searching.

The greatest joy to me about scripture is that it is necessarily a human book. We have an incarnational faith. The Bible is no less incarnational, real and human. It is about God?s chosen people, not some imagined utopian society, but an actual messy, difficult, loving, desperate, generous people. The list of adjectives is limitless. It is about God?s people and written by God?s people. For this reason it deserves our utmost respect and seriousness. It demands our scholarship and our reverence. It demands our humor and patience as well.

No form of communication is ever completely clear. I would say the same about revelation. The apostle Thomas understood this well. ?It may be as you say, but unless I see Jesus and touch his wounds I am going to question what you say.? The generosity of the scriptures is that through it God appears to us as He did to Thomas and shows us his wounds. The lack of clarity resides in us. We will touch His wounds and still falter. We are members of the same tradition that penned the scriptures. We struggle with its meaning and its import. We wrestle with its decrees. We may even go so far as to disagree with the scriptures. If we do find ourselves in disagreement with the scriptures, we should do so with great trepidation as the scriptures are both the starting and ending point for Christianity.

We will interpret the Bible differently. We will explore its depths finding different treasures to share with one another. In our dialogue with scripture, however, I believe we are in dialogue with the communion of saints and every Christian who has come before us and will come after. The entirety Christian tradition can guide us in interpretation. It can hold us accountable to the voice of scripture. It can nurture us into holiness both through its guidance and in the liberty we are given to struggle with its demands and claims. The freedom of interpretation is both the freedom to deny the scriptures and perhaps make our own way. It is also the freedom that comes from entering into the community of the faithful who have lived into and out of these scriptures for millennia. To share this burden of interpretation liberates us from our own failings and shortcomings. As a Baptist, I embrace both kinds of freedom of interpretation.

6. How do you understand prayer in terms of your personal life and the corporate life of the church?

The answer to this question could easily be folded into the second essay question. I do not separate theology and spirituality as some may. If there is a theological or philosophical system that has shaped me the most, it is the Christian traditions of prayer and contemplation. The work of Foster, Merton, Nouwen, the Desert Mothers and Fathers, the various monastic movements throughout Christian history, and the work and guidance of E. Glenn Hinson have all had their hand in my development as a Christian. I am so completely ensconced in this tradition that I cannot separate it from being Christian.

As I mentioned in my essays for the first ordination interview, I lived and worked at Richmond Hill, an ecumenical retreat center in Richmond, Virginia, for four years. We kept a rhythm of prayer. Members of the community led morning, noon and evening prayer services that were open to the public. We held a Eucharist service Monday evenings that were led by local pastors (Protestant and Catholic) and ordained members of the residential community. Because of this, a life of prayer has been the backbone to my faith. Again, I cannot imagine myself without it.

In light of those statements, let me say that prayer is the most important tool for entering into and giving voice to the Kingdom of God. It is a discipline that shapes the believer, the Christian community and the world. Prayer is a Christian action. It is not passive in any way.

The story at Richmond Hill is this: the retreat center was once a convent. When the city of Richmond was being burned during the Civil War, the nuns and their prior decided that they would pray for the healing of Richmond every day. In the early 1980?s, the Catholic diocese was forced to sell the convent. A group of church leaders, lay and ordained, found out about the intention of the diocese and raised the money to purchase the property. This was not done because the property was a valuable piece of real estate. It was done because this group recognized the importance of having someone praying for Richmond every day. This is why the convent is now a retreat center and continues to be a place of prayer.

This story has shaped my personal walk in prayer and how I understand how prayer shapes a community. A discipline of prayer can bring about unity. It shapes and molds the minds and hearts of believers so that they may be closer to the will of God. It can give voice to conflict and strife. It can provide reconciliation and healing. It can be a prophetic witness to societal and personal ills such as abuse and racism. It also leads to action.

Richmond Hill does not only pray for racial reconciliation to be done. Prayer leads to action. As it shapes the heart, it shapes the life. Prayer may lead one to stand with the oppressed or to discern a vocation into Christian action. Prayer is a way to enter into a situation to better understand it. To pray for and with the oppressed or with the oppressor will most likely lead to compassion for all God?s children and a clearer understanding of what has led to such strife and division.

Prayer in an ecumenical setting can lead to reconciliation and respect for one another?s traditions. Receiving the bread and wine from a Catholic priest created a bridge of understanding for me. It was a healing and reconciling act. Certainly, the same can be said for the other denominations represented in the liturgical life of Richmond Hill.

Prayer is liturgy. Liturgy is the work of the people. It is primary for a minister to encourage that a congregation become a praying community. Perhaps providing opportunities for prayer services, or moments of silence and sharing in the Sunday morning service will lead to that end. To not encourage a deep and sincere life of prayer in a congregation only handicaps the congregation?s ability to be the very presence of Christ in the world.

1

And so it begins. Here are a few of the eleven essays. I tell you, writing ordination essays takes the fun out of writing essays. I was telling a friend that most of these are brief. I am not entirely sure why they are so brief. I do not think of myself as brief, but there you go. Um, enjoy! Heh.

Serously, any helpful feedback you can give me is appreciated. I will be mailing these in to the regional office so that they may be distributed to the ordination committee for my October interview. Oy.

Please share with us a concise statement of your faith.

I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
the Creator of heaven and earth,
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord:
Who was conceived of the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into hell.
The third day He arose again from the dead.
He ascended into heaven
and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty,
whence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting.
Amen.
This is the Apostle�s Creed. Though we are not a creedal people, I believe this to be an appropriate summary of my faith and Christian faith in general. The other reasons I chose a creed to express my belief will become more clear in my answers to the questions which follow. But to summarize, this creed is scriptural, it is rooted in time-honored traditions within Christianity as a whole. It has been used as a formative tool within Christian education and as a part of the liturgical life of Christian communities for centuries. It is, all on its own, a prayer. It is not necessarily a systematic document, a prooftext for Christian orthodoxy. Being a non-creedal people does not mean that the creeds (Apostles�, Nicean, Athanasian etc) cannot be guides for thinking, prayer and conversation between believers. They can serve as good historical road markers in our faith, both personal and corporate.

3.

Yeah, I am still working on number two.

What is your understanding of the Trinity? How is it relevant to our faith today?

The Trinity is more than creative language to talk about God. The Trinity, as I understand it, was experienced during worship, in the midst of ministry and in the daily lives of believers as the Church was first being formed.. The Last Supper (Son), the Day of Pentecost (Spirit) and in the struggles of extending the atoning grace of Christ to the Gentiles (Father God) all reveal that the Trinity was and is more than a means of describing ?what we see but dimly.?

And yet, we do see but dimly. Even revelation is subject to a human understanding. Theologies that hold ?maleness? over and above ?femaleness? because God is called ?Father? in the Trinity are perhaps shortsighted and limit the grace of God. The Trinity speaks to the constant movement of God?s grace. As many ancient sources argue, the members of the Trinity are distinct but One. They are a trinity of persons but a unity in substance. The Father gives up all to die as the Son who holds up the Church as the Spirit who leads us in the way of the Son in order that we might rightly live as the created of the Father. The logic is circular. The grace of the Trinity overflows granting to humanity and the world redemption. Again, as Paul says, ?all the world is made new through Christ.? This is possible through the Trinity. I believe it is the responsibility of the contemporary Church to maintain this language without slipping into patriarchal theologies or into the heresy of Modalism . This is a fine line.

The question of relevance is an interesting one. Bob Webber and his ilk have discovered that many churches are stressing again liturgical language of the Trinity. Words like ?In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit?Amen? are used as a language of prayer and not just a tool for static doctrine. They can move us into deeper discipleship because through this language we can enter that generosity of grace that the Trinity reveals. Brad Berglund, too, explores the importance of Trinitarian language in our worship in his book Reinventing Sunday.

Molly T. Marshall has recently published a book on the Holy Spirit. It serves to combat the notion that Christians worship only Jesus, ignoring the other parts of the Trinity by exploring a ?neglected? Holy Spirit. Through engaging the Trinity through the Spirit, Marshall finds many challenging perspectives on what it means to be the Body of Christ and to celebrate the Lord?s Supper. These are recent examples of how Trinitarian language as come again to the fore for Baptists.

4.

What is the nature and mission of the local church?

Dietrich Bonhoeffer stated in Life Together that a Christian community is a rare thing. It is precious and to be treasured. Though his words come from a specific time and place that wrestled with difficult challenges, his words can be helpful to us. The nature and mission of a church is as much aspiration as it is reality, perhaps more so. As congregations, we often fail at being Christian community. Admission of such frailty only strengthens a community of faith. To receive forgiveness, one must first admit to sin. This is as true for the individual as it is for the community. We are to be known by our love, but we are imperfect people called to a life of perfection. This is a difficult walk. To suggest otherwise may be a denial of the cross.

The local church is to witness to the saving nature of the Christian faith and life. The mission of the local church is thusly no different from that of the Universal Church. How it goes about this will vary from congregation to congregation. This is the freedom and responsibility of the local congregation. The local congregation has the freedom and the responsibility of proclaiming the gospel as it sees fit.

A church is a place of worship. A church is the place where the Word is preached and the Table is shared. It is a place where believers can gather for formation and to be edified by one another?s presence. The work of the faithful is witnessed through the work of the community in its programs and mission efforts. Churches are places of study, where theological scholarship is nurtured. Churches are places of prayer, of contemplation. A church is as much a spiritual school as it is a theological school. I would suggest strongly that there is no difference between theology and spirituality. Becoming Christian is a discipline. It requires a nurturing environment to support and encourage such discipline. That environment is Christian community.

One thing that makes a church a unique institution is that the skills one develops in a Christian community are not to be limited to one?s engagement within that community. Christian community does not end when the benediction is proclaimed. Love, patience, kindness, self-control?all the fruits of the Spirit are to be revealed outside of the community as well. Our disciplines of study, prayer, fasting and others are not limited to the space of the church building. Church is not simply a Sunday morning activity. Christian community is a place without walls. It is in the world without being of it. It transforms and reconciles. It seeks mercy and justice. It is the Body of Christ.

St. Teresa of Avila summed it up beautifully in this prayer on the Body of Christ.

Christ has no body now but yours,
No hands, no feet, on earth but yours.
Your are the eyes through which He looks
Compassion on this world
Yours are the feet
With which He walks to do good.
Your are the hands
With which He blesses all the world
Yours are the hands, yours are the feet.
Yours are the eyes, you are His body.
Christ has no body now but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours
Yours are the eyes, through which He Looks
compassion on the world.
Christ has no body now on earth but yours.

7.

Don't tell me you were interested in number six. I am still plugging away at that one as well.

Discuss what you believe the task of the minister to be. How do you see yourself in relationship to various forms of ministry? What are your career goals?

In short, the task of the minister is to administer the Word and Table. This ministry leads into the pastoral forms of ministry that many people imagine as they envision pastoral ministry. As a witness to the word and table, I will make house calls, serve as confidant and mentor as best as I am able. I will assist the congregation in the administration of the institution that is their church in such a way, with God?s help, that reflects the Word and Table.

Of course, as a Baptist, this delineation of labor is not sacrosanct. Paul tells us that there are different forms of ministry (preaching, teaching, prophesy, speaking in tongues) ? gifts of the Spirit which uphold the Body of Christ. I absolutely affirm this reality within the church. All pastoral ministries are shared ministries. Along with this, the idea of the priesthood of all believers suggests that no matter the delineation by giftedness, the responsibility for the Church belongs equally to each member. There are many gifts, but there is one Spirit and one responsibility and that is to reveal the Kingdom of God to the world.

This may make a strong definition of the vocational ministry problematic. I certainly do not desire to downplay a vocation that leads one to ?ordained ministry.? I believe I am responding to a specific call from God to be a minister in the Church. I am, however, more and more convinced that the God?s desire for me to be a minister of the Word and Table in the Church has less to do with the importance of the office and more to do with Word and Table. Authority of any kind in the Church belongs to God revealed in the Word and the Table. It does not belong to an office. The authority is granted to a minister by the people he or she serves. That authority is witnessed by the trust given to a pastor.

Professionally, my immediate goal is to serve as a pastor in a church. I am looking for positions as either an associate in a larger urban congregation in order to learn more about the ministry from an established pastor, or take a risk and discern if God would like me to serve a smaller congregation as the sole ordained minister. Currently, to this end, I am serving as one of a pastoral team in an ecumenical church plant. It is an interesting experiment to say the least.

In the long term, I am very interested in pursuing a PhD in liturgical theology and teaching in a seminary. I believe that, for me at least, this ministry is predicated by my being a worship leader in a church (or churches). I want to be able to teach from experience as well as from a book.

8.

As you assess your personal capacities for ministry at this time, what do you consider your strongest points and what do you feel to be the aspects most needing development?

At this point in my ministry, I believe my strengths are based in worship leadership and the articulating of faith and mystery. Theology is not simply a system of ideas, but a tool for shaping souls and guiding believers. I endeavor to preach my theology and live it. This demands rigorous honesty. I try my best to live honestly as a minister. I believe I am a good preacher and could be even better.

I am personable. I am compassionate. Pastoral work is a skill set I am developing beyond my seminary training through participation in another year of Clinical Pastoral Education. My hope is that this training will be a great asset to my ministry. I wish to be a pastoral leader and not simply an intellectual one.

I think that my weak points can be put in one category: administration. I am not a particularly organized person. The meticulous work of managing a congregation is tiresome for me. As important as it is, I have never felt a great desire to do it. Thus far, when I have been placed in positions of leadership where I may have some administrative duties, I do my best to delegate those duties to someone more capable than myself. I realize that this may not always be an option and I will have to develop skills to compensate, but as of this writing, this has not been the case.

9.

What does ordination mean to you? Why have you elected to be ordained to the Gospel ministry or have your ordination recognized in the ABCUSA? What experiences led you to make this choice?

Much of my thinking on ordination is in the previous essay. Simply, it is a precarious walk. Ordination is granted and upheld through relationships of trust as the Spirit leads and promises.

I believe that God has asked me to be in the ABCUSA. With my understanding of denominationalism and my desire for inter-Christian reconciliation, some people are surprised. I have been asked on many occasions why I am not Episcopalian or even Roman Catholic. It is true that my theology as an individual may be more in line with those traditions than the Baptist. Personally, I find I tread a fine line. I was given an infant baptism, and yet I am a proponent of believer?s baptism. I think congregationalism has much to offer the wider Universal Church, and yet our congregationalism can divide us, making for perhaps as much strife as it originally tried to avoid. I perceive a singular Universal Church. I find the historic creeds useful tools to demonstrate Christian distinctiveness. I even believe in terms of sacraments and not ordinances. Molly T. Marshall, E. Glenn Hinson, Bob Webber and other such Baptist educators give me strength to live in this tension.

I also find myself relying upon my understanding of Baptist history and Christian ecumenism for answers to these challenges. We Baptists have historical roots. We possess the traditions and theologies for specific historical reasons. To deny that historical reality of both schism and oppression, the socio-religious pressures of the Reformation, and the challenges and freedom of American religious culture(s) is to deny why it is we are Baptist. To forget this can lead us into troubling water. We must remind ourselves why it is that we are not all Episcopalian?or Catholic for that matter. We must recall our relationship to one another. E. Glenn Hinson often spoke in class of the Baptist tradition within Christianity as opposed to the Baptist denomination as opposed to other denominations. We have a ?spiritual tradition.? In my thinking, this allows for us to gift Christianity with our distinctiveness. It is a less judgmental stance where we hold ourselves against the rest of the Universal Church or even deny the presence of Christ within other tradition. This has fueled much of how I relate to my own Baptist identity.

A problem I perceive in our contemporary setting is the idea of ?church shopping? where church ministries are relegated to a set of programs and the personality of a minister. I think it may be reflected in this essay question. This type of seeking only demonstrates to me a lack of understanding of the historical realities of denominations by both the seeker and the sought. I do not want to deny that God can lead someone through a variety of traditions until they find their spiritual home, or to programs that fulfill important needs that an individual may have. Nevertheless, it may be that we have made commodities of our traditions. It is this dynamic I wish to avoid in my own life. God has asked me to live in the ABCUSA. Here I shall stay. I believe that my leaving this tradition to join another is to deny the presence of Christ in the ABCUSA. That I will not do.

Through my grandfather, a Baptist minister, and the witness of North Shore, I have come to love the ABCUSA with all of its gifts and foibles. I am willing to stand in the tensions because it has been my experience that the ABCUSA will provide both challenge and support for my ministry. This journey of study and discovery is hardly over. The ABCUSA has been an excellent home for my growth to this point. I have no reason to believe it will not continue to be so.

10.

How do you see the ABCUSA in relation to the Church universal? What is your understanding of ABC polity and organization?

I believe that the American Baptist Churches USA are an expression of the one holy, catholic and apostolic Church. As James McClendon suggests, a helpful way to envision how the Baptist tradition connects to the wider church is as a tributary to a larger river. Realizing this image allows us to understand and affirm our distinctions while at the same time confessing our connection to other ecclesial bodies and congregations.

This image also allows us to confess what is the brokenness in the one Church and the sin of denominationalism. As Baptists we can fall into the habit of listening to only our own voice � even at the congregational level. In fact, congregationalism can, when misunderstood, lead to sectarianism. The universal church is more than a �spiritual� reality. It is an incarnated reality. This is manifested in the individual, the congregation, the Baptist tradition and the universal Church. At each level, God speaks in particular ways.

A useful spiritual discipline is to explore the wealth of traditions that exist �upstream.� Contemplative prayer, the rhythm of the liturgical year and other theological or spiritual traditions can serve as foils and resources for our tradition. We cannot assume that our free-church tradition insinuates that we ignore the wealth and challenges of other traditions. Our tradition of voluntary connectedness can serve as a great resource to combat this tendency. As a body, the ABC-USA does this.

We are engaged in the Baptist World Alliance, the World Council of Churches and other ecumenical efforts. For some obvious reasons, I have been paying close attention to the developments to come out of the Anglican/Baptist conversations over the last couple of years. Our 2010 initiative encourages the development of projects with other denominations. These are all great positives.

Because of my own experience in ecumenical ministries, I am especially interested in the effects of our polity in conversations with other faith traditions. Individuals are free to respond in any way they see fit. Congregations are also free. This is a gift. What is frustrating at times is the inability of the ABC-USA to engage in these conversations as a group. Baptists are free to agree or disagree. The Spirit of congregational liberty cuts both ways. We are free to act, but we are often isolated in our actions.

11.

Given the historic Baptist principle of separation of church and state, how do you see the duty of the church toward society?

In my essay on the nature and mission of the local congregation I speak to some of this. The duty of the church is to reveal Christ. This is difficult work. It is demanding. It encompasses all of our life?even our political life.

The separation of church and state is an excellent political theory. I do not believe that the scriptures suggest that a theocracy is what God desires. We Baptists have historically spoken a great deal about the sins and risks of the state church. All this said, this does not mean that the separation of church and state suggests there are two realities for an individual: political and spiritual. As disciples, we live Christian lives. How we vote, how we spend our money, all of this is informed by our faith. This is complicated and frustrating. Christianity is not monolithic. No political party in America represents Christianity. Navigating the American political landscape is complicated.

As it always should, the church is to proclaim Christ to the world. This may mean that Christians stand on the side of the oppressed at all times?whether the oppressed is a terrorist group or an elementary school held hostage. The prayer of St Francis serves me well here.

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

This, for me, is a generous and simple way to live in the American political landscape even as diverse and complicated as it is. It allows for the diversity of others while encouraging a singularity of Christian purpose. If I am to love my neighbor, even the one with the political viewpoint I cannot understand, how will that take shape? How will that change my life? How will it change the life of my neighbor?

Christianity is to be an active force in the world. We are to proclaim the truth of the Gospel, baptizing in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. How this is done has taken many forms, but how has it been known? Have we Christians been known by our love? Not always. The prayer of St Francis has that end in mind.
So, simply put, the duty of the church to society is to love it.

third time through?

What does it matter to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy? - Ghandi

Today is the third anniversary of the attack on the twin towers. On the first anniversary I was involved in a performance of Mozart's Requiem, lovely and unfinished. There were hundreds of choirs singing that day...around the world. Today, how do we memorialize the dead? There are many ways. Poem, images, music (singing again today), moments of silence, grief, prayers. But I still struggle, and have since September 12, with our desire to strike back. It seems such an implausible way to memorialize the dead. "On behalf of the person who is at peace with God, I will kill." This is my problem. I do not see this war as a defense of liberty. This may not be someone else's problem. I am not asking for agreement.

We are not defending liberty. Even though there are over 1000 soldiers dead, a great tragedy, no one I have met has been willing to say that they would kill in the name of liberty. We use words like "defend" or "die." Are you willing to kill in the name of America? That is the questin I ask myself. I have not yet come up with an affirmative.

In the extended is a short essay that pushed me around this morning. It is powerful. Well, it was to me. So, be warned.

This is by Bill Wiser.

It is all so familiar. A poem set against a growing mountain of flowers that was once a single, carefully laid bouquet. The glow of too many candles, each a symbol of one life cruelly snuffed out too soon. A pile of rubble transformed into a shrine. Some who come gather in silence. Others search in vain for something they know they will never find, or place a photo among the gallery of smiling faces hoping that someone will recognize the features of a loved one.

Union Square in lower Manhattan? Ground Zero? It could be. But that was three years ago. Today these are the images surrounding a school in Beslan, North Ossetia.

Here in America three years later, there is too much noise. It is drowning out the still, small voice that in those first weeks pointed us down a road less traveled. Small though it was, it had the power to transform whole neighborhoods into caring communities united by grief and sacrifice.

But then came the increasingly rancorous rhetoric, punctuated by the explosions of bombs over Afghanistan and Baghdad and the roar of aircraft returning from Iraq with the dead and maimed. In recent weeks here in New York the noise rose to fever pitch inside Madison Square Garden and on the streets outside. We have become a nation splintered by the very event that once brought us together.

Is it too late to try the other road? Three years after 9/11 the images of Beslan and Ground Zero blur and mingle with those of the rubble in Iraqi cities, becoming one in the cry of a mother?s heart. Why must these little ones die in an endless cycle of terror? Why can?t their small bodies?laid in the earth and watered with the tears of unspeakable pain?be the seeds of a new world? What can we do today for the sake of tomorrow?s children?

Beslan is a call to America to remember the candles, the flowers, and the grief that united us in the aftermath of 9/11. On this day, if we turn down the volume, our ears will catch an echo of that still, small voice once again. We may not know where the road will take us, but we owe it to the world?s children to return to the starting point before we have gone so far that we can?t turn back.

Agnus Dei, qui tolis pecata mundi...

back from the retreat

Hey, gang.

It was a good retreat. I think this CPE group has a lot going for it. There is a sense of promise that I think I can lean on. "What a fellowship. What a joy divine...leaning on the everlasting arms." This was our hymn of praise this morning. I think it speaks well of how the group wishes to form itself. We shall see. I am hopeful.

Two weeks. Two weeks and I will me Mr. Trish. Wow.

A couple of things to report...random linkage.

Cliff has a couple of good posts at work. One is on the ordination of women. Another is on the current presidential race. Justin chimes in on the second post, trying to make sense of Kerry's agenda. I find both conversations quite helpful in understanding some of our differences. I am grateful for it.

AKMA posted Carter's letter to Zell. It has sparked an interesting converation about pacifism. Cliff posted about pacifism as well a while back. I was not able to give it any real attention, but it is an interesting thread.

Tomorrow I am off to a recording session. I am really excited about it. Tonight One of the Girls rehearsed for the first time in qite a while. That was great. I have missed the Girls.

run away! run away!

I have a retreat the next two days...working with the CPE group. We will be staying at a local convent that has space for visitors. This is a good thing. I like convents. I am leading the group in worship this morning. We have been invited to introduce one another to our denominational traditions. Um, I guess this means I have to leave the icons at home. Bummer.

Saturday I have a recording session with a local professional choir. Singing for Jesus...and a little cash. This too is a good thing. I have no idea what we are recording. We do not get the music until we get there. I am looking forward to it. It will be about six hours of singing into a mic.

So, there you go! Have a good Weekend!

Gitali 19

Gitali 19

My heart is mirrored
in the boundless sky.

The pain-flute plays
in the winds.

See! The ardour of the light
is my own story;

Becoming listless,
it comes back again to my heart.

Outside You wander about
in various guises and using many strategems,

I con't know around whose neck
I have put my garland.

Today, what do I see within my heart?
Why, all the garlands are around Your neck.

After taking all,
You made the final surrender
in complete destruction.

All this is mirrored
in the boundless sky.

scandalous

What do you guys think of these words? Jennifer posted them a couple of days ago. I had one friend suggest...no...state that they were cruel. I wonder.

"Why is that young adults make the worst church members? Is it because they want another set of activities for their kids? Is it because they want to turn the sacred organism called the Church into some ecclesiastical version of the YMCA? ...And maybe I'm foolish and naive, but I actually believe that [the church] is intended to be the center of God's redemptive work in the world. So pardon me if I'm not more concerned about planning another lock-in for Junior and his buddies...We would be better off if we just said what we really expect church to be. I think the young adults would say, "Look, just keep my kids entertained. Give them something to do. Don't hassle us about having our lives restructured by the gospel. Because that's not what we want. We want activities and programs and pop religion that can make us feel better about ourselves. Keep our children off crack... keep them off our backs... and keep their $90 designer skirts down. But don't talk too much about denying self... don't dwell on caring for the poor... don't depress us with Psalms of lament... and please don't talk about carrying any crosses."

Does it matter that my friend has kids who are young adults? Hmmm. I do not find these words particularly offensive.

politik

Oy.

"It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States."
VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY

"Dick Cheney's scare tactics today crossed the line."
SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS

Um, not that I have done a whole lot of research here, but Cheney does seem to be a little "Anxiety Closet" for my tastes. Is he really suggesting that a switch in the executive office would encourage a terrorist attack because the terrorists would want to test the new kid in class?

Really? Please tell me it ain't true.

"It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice," Mr. Cheney told a crowd of 350 people in Des Moines, "because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States."

He also said if Mr. Kerry was elected the nation risked lapsing to a "pre-9/11 mind-set'' where attacks are viewed as criminal acts, not part of a war against terrorism.

Mr. Kerry's running mate, Senator John Edwards, promptly said Mr. Cheney had "crossed the line."

"What he said to the American people,'' Mr. Edwards said, "was that if you go to the polls in November and elect anyone other than us, then another terrorist attack occurs, it's your fault. This is un-American.''

Anne Womack, a spokeswoman for Mr. Cheney, said that the vice president's comment was taken out of context, and that he was addressing policy differences.

"Whoever is elected is going to face the prospect of another terrorist attack,'' Ms. Womack said. "The question is whether we will have the right policies in place to protect our country." Mr. Kerry plans to speak on Wednesday about mistakes in Iraq from the restored train station in Cincinnati. That is where Mr. Bush laid out his argument nearly two years ago that President Saddam Hussein of Iraq was amassing large stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction and might soon be able to strike the United States.

No evidence of weapons of mass destruction has surfaced in Iraq.

The International Herald Tribune has a similar article.

linkage

There should be an update soon. Some people should be added to the faculty.

Camassia keeps reading and linking and tracking back.
She also knows cool people. It is a small, small world, Beth. 'Tis indeed.
And Keith from Among The Ruins also links and reads.

I am honored.

Oh, and lest I forget, go to Karl's site. He's writing about obedience from the Eastern Orthodox point of view. It is very interesting. Maybe I should tackle that as well...hmmm...

And I am tired. Happy Birthday to Heather. I am off to bed so I can get up tomorrow, do good work at the hospital and play in the land of ordination essays. I think I am comming out of my malaise surrounding those bits of theologizing. So, there you have it.

Peace and all good things, people.

shoes and shoes and shoes and shoes

Shopping with Trish is always fun...even when you spend five hours looking at footwear. It must be love.

Now, I was unable to find anything else to do at Marshall Fields when Trish and our friend Amy went to the Bobbi Brown counter to get little make overs. Dear God. I try to live into the virtues of teh sensitive new age guy. I liked hanging with Trish and Amy. We are all pretty silly. The make up counter leaves me bored...bored, bored and nore bored. So, there you have it. That was my Labor Day.

Oh, if you need a new suit, go to Fields. They have a 75% off sale. Even the $1000 suits are on sale. Pretty nifty.

Another week of orientation. I have been assigned my unit: pre/post surgery. It is a good way to begin my tenure. It's a hospital and it can always get odd, but this unit is less intense than the ED and pushes me a little less than the Peds unit. I'll hit up those two before the year is out, but I am glad that my rotation is starting with surgery.

Peace.

thought for today

Christian piety has all too often meant withdrawal from the world and from men � it has led to a sort of transcendent egoism and an unwillingness to share suffering. It has lacked human warmth. But the world has risen in protest against this form of piety, this arrogance, this indifference to the world�s sorrow. And only the living faith of the reborn can withstand this protest. Care for the needs of another human being, even bodily care: that is the essence of true piety. Bread for myself is a material question; but bread for my neighbor is a spiritual one. - Jacques Maritain

Just a little liberation theology to start your day.

So, why did I let it happen? Why do I allow myself to get sucked into their madness?! 4:30 in the morning. I went to bed at 4:30 in the morning. Why? Actors. Actors, I tell you!! They are a blight upon my body clock. Urggle. Today I journey with my favorite actor to purchase shoes that match her wedding dress. Excellent.

Happy Work Day, all!

short and sweet

Here's the sermon. I read it aloud about five times this morning. It takes about 12 minutes...thus 15 in the preaching.

I can�t believe the news today
Oh, I can�t close my eyes and make it go away
How long...
How long must we sing this song?
How long? how long...

�cause tonight...we can be as one
Tonight...

Broken bottles under children�s feet
Bodies strewn across the dead end street
But I won�t heed the battle call
It puts my back up
Puts my back up against the wall

Sunday, bloody sunday
Sunday, bloody sunday
Sunday, bloody sunday (sunday bloody sunday...)
(allright lets go!)

The death toll in Russia has reached to more than 300 with hundreds more injured. Children. Teachers. Soldiers. Townspeople. We must even mourn those who are so lost that they would commit such an act. Can there be a greater act of despair? Where is hope? Where is God in this? Whose hand is in this?

The words to the song �Sunday Bloody Sunday� have been running through my head. These words were penned by Bono, the lead singer of the rock group U2 twenty years ago and I find them speaking to me today. I find them echoing in my mind.

And the battle�s just begun
There�s many lost, but tell me who has won
The trench is dug within our hearts
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart

Sunday, bloody sunday
Sunday, bloody sunday

I wonder if Bono had this Luke passage in mind when he wrote this song. The immediate sentiment is different, and yet I am reminded of Luke�s very difficult words. Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

I think that this verse can be cruel. When I spoke to Pastor Carol about the readings for today, she suggested that I give a sermon on what we do with difficult passages. Not a bad idea. But, this passage is demanding something more from me. This passage is asking me to read itself into my own life, into my heart. Scripture can transform our hearts, our thinking and even our lives. As Jeremiah�s image of the potter and the clay suggests, we can be transformed by God. God shapes us.

Luke continues�

For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, saying, �This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.� Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? If he cannot, then, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace. So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.

Here is a rigorous set of standards. This is probably one of the verses baptismal candidates should read before they make that final decision to be baptized. I can hear this tone "Are you sure you want to follow Jesus? It can be a little, well, intense." Luke wants us to be prepared to follow Christ. He wants us to know what it is that we are getting into.

Should we allow these words to be figurative or should we allow them to be read simply, at face value? Am I really supposed to hate my family and friends? Am I supposed to hate myself? Psychologists must love this line of questioning. This is how they put their own children through college.

What does giving it all away look like? Does Jesus want me to be a pauper?

Again, I return to Bono�s words.

And it�s true we are immune
When fact is fiction and tv reality
And today the millions cry
We eat and drink while tomorrow they die

The real battle yet begun (sunday, bloody sunday)
To claim the victory Jesus won (sunday, bloody sunday)
On Sunday, Bloody Sunday.

There is this desire, I think, as we watch the news on TV, to remove ourselves from the situation emotionally. This is a normal desire, a normal reaction. The images are unreal. They are overwhelming. I find myself imagining them as staged or choreographed. It may then be easier to imagine how I might respond. I know that I have imagined this: I have had fantasies of getting on a plane and going to Russia to help. Somehow, this situation has captivated my attention. This fantasy of mine is an inappropriate and �unreal� response. Fact and fiction have reversed themselves in my heart. I am fighting the wrong battle. I am not, as Luke suggests, prepared as I should be.

It is not that the desire to help is wrong or even misplaced. It is that I am responding to a situation that I do not even understand. I am responding to a situation that exists in my imagination. I am not even certain that I have the courage to do what Luke asks, and thus to see the situation in Russia for what it is. Which battle is it that I wish to fight? How do I seek reconciliation and not revenge or even my own benefit? How do I ignore my mother, father, the children and find the cross instead? Where is the cross in Russia?

�Come, go down to the potter�s house, and there I will let you hear my words.� So I went down to the potter�s house, and there he was working at his wheel. The vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter�s hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as seemed good to him. Then the word of the LORD came to me: Can I not do with you, O house of Israel, just as this potter has done? says the LORD. Just like the clay in the potter�s hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.

Typically when I read this verse, for whatever reason, I often think of retreats and sermons where this "potter/clay" metaphor has been a theme for how God shapes us individually. We are Baptists after all. We typically concern ourselves with the individual first. We do not often think in terms of communities or nations.

And yet, this passage is really about God shaping nations. The nation of Israel is being shaped by God's hands. All nations are, in fact, this very day, being shaped by God's hands. God, is deeply involved in the shaping of nations, of peoples. God is deeply involved in politics. According to Jeremiah, through the relationships between nations, God rewards and punishes. We can talk later about whether or not we particularly enjoy this passage, but the passage is clear that God judges nations. But by what standards? Does the situation in Russia look like God's judgment? What are the criteria?

This may be where Jeremiah begins to make some sense. God has not destroyed Israel. God desires Israel. God desires all nations. In fact, if we look again, God�s promise to Israel stands firm. God can seem to crush Israel, but like the potter, in doing so, he reshapes the nation of Israel. The clay has not been thrown away, only its shape is changed. Israel remains, but changed. What God is asking is what Luke is after�a total change in priorities, a radical shift from national self-interest to the cross. God's judgment is God's very presence, God's reconciling love for humanity.

Vladamir Putin said this: "This is challenge to all of Russia, to all our people. This is an attack against all of us."

As implausible as it sounds, the battle lines are not drawn where we think they are. Luke challenges our assumptions. Perhaps we are to do something that will look like hatred against friends and family. Perhaps we are to give away the benefits of our power and wealth. Perhaps we are to pick up the cross instead.

The real battle yet begun (sunday, bloody sunday)
To claim the victory Jesus won (sunday, bloody sunday)
On Sunday, Bloody Sunday.

The victory Jesus won: a redeemed world, a saved humanity, the fruition of God�s love poured out upon all of creation, there for the asking. It is not an easy road and we must be prepared for it. But this is what we must proclaim: not our own might, not our own cares, but those of God. This is easy for me to say of the situation in Russia. I am thousands of miles away. I have the fiction of TV protecting me. Still, we are called to this task...to look at our own nation, our own tragedies, into our own hearts and ask these questions, to struggle and find God's hands in our lives, to struggle and find the cross.

But as we have seen in Russia and as it was illustrated for us in Jeremiah and even in the song by Bono, this is the most difficult of tasks. We would rather blame God for our troubles. We would rather seek out and destroy our enemies. This makes the most sense to us. This is the natural course of thinking.

Taking up the cross is so difficult that we soon realize that we cannot do it. We dare not do it. We cannot give up all we have, even our will, to God. This is impossible for us. Even Jesus struggles with following the will of God. It is no easy task.

Yet, whose hands are on the clay? Who guides nations? God does. No terrorist group can change that. No military action, no amount of fear, no trade embargo can change the final reality that there is someone else at work: God.

U2�s Bono was writing about the violence in Ireland twenty years ago. He was writing about hunger in the world. Nonetheless, the words can stand well for us this morning. What do we do with the images that are burned in our minds? �Broken bottles under children�s feet. Bodies strewn across a dead end street.�

We must �proclaim the victory that Jesus won� and allow God, The Holy Spirit and the rigorous way of Christ Jesus to shape our hearts, our lives, our nations, and indeed the very world into God�s will.

�cause tonight...we can be as one
Tonight...
Tonight...

Sunday, bloody sunday (tonight)
Tonight
Sunday, bloody sunday (tonight)
(come get some!)

Wipe the tears from your eyes
Wipe your tears away
Wipe your tears away
I wipe your tears away
(sunday, bloody sunday)
I wipe your blood shot eyes
(sunday, bloody sunday)

Sunday, bloody sunday (sunday, bloody sunday)
Sunday, bloody sunday (sunday, bloody sunday)

The real battle yet begun (sunday, bloody sunday)
To claim the victory jesus won (sunday, bloody sunday)
On...

Sunday bloody sunday
Sunday bloody sunday

schoolyard bullys

"We did not know how to react in the appropriate fashion. We have showed weakness in the face of danger and the weak get beaten up."

VLADIMIR V. PUTIN, President of Russia.

The article continues in the hidden post.

Putin Says Russia Faces Full 'War' to Divide Nation
By STEVEN LEE MYERS

MOSCOW, Sept. 4 - In a rare address to his nation, coming at a time of grave crisis, President Vladimir V. Putin said Saturday that the school siege in the southern city of Beslan was an attack on all of Russia and called for the mobilization of society to resist what he called "a total and full-scale war" to splinter the country.

Mr. Putin spoke as the death toll from the violent end of the hostage crisis at Middle School No. 1 in Beslan rose to 330; half of the dead were children. Officials warned that the number of dead would rise further in the city, not far from Chechnya, as workers searched the school's charred wreckage and as more victims succumbed to their wounds in hospitals.

"This is challenge to all of Russia, to all our people," Mr. Putin said. "This is an attack against all of us."

Mr. Putin sought to answer the seething anger that many here have expressed after a series of terrorist acts that in 10 wrenching days have killed more than 500 people. The worst was in Beslan, where heavily armed insurgents, some wearing explosives, seized the school on Wednesday, corralled 1,200 schoolchildren, parents and teachers into its gymnasium and threatened to kill them. On Friday, large explosions caused a panic and Russian troops charged the building as children began to escape, but hundreds died in the melee.

Authorities said they believed that the terrorists were Islamic militants, mostly Chechens.

Mr. Putin called the siege "a horrible tragedy." Then, speaking of the sweep of Russia's post-Soviet history, he criticized corruption in the judiciary, the inefficiency of law enforcement and the difficult transition to capitalism that he acknowledged had left few resources to secure Russia's borders in a changing and dangerous epoch.

For Mr. Putin, who projects the image of unswerving leadership, it was a striking acknowledgment that not all was well under his watch.

"We have to admit that we failed to recognize the complexity and danger of the processes going on in our country and the world as a whole," said Mr. Putin, who spoke for 10 minutes, standing alone in front of Russia's flag and a wood-paneled backdrop. "At any rate, we failed to react to them adequately. We demonstrated our weakness, and the weak are beaten."

Mr. Putin did not accept personal responsibility for Russia's failings, but he echoed a feeling of helplessness and fear that has shaken the country, demanding, as many here have, that security and law-enforcement agencies work more efficiently to counter the threat of terrorism. He also suggested that Russian society itself needed to develop to succeed in the fight.

"Events in other countries prove that terrorists meet the most effective rebuff where they confront not only the power of the state, but also an organized and united civil society," he said.

He did not elaborate, but many Russians have been citing the experiences of the United States, Israel and Spain as more effective in protecting their citizens. A policeman, guarding Chekhov's former estate in the town of Melikhovo, on Saturday contrasted Russia's helplessness to the resolve of the United States after the Sept. 11 attacks.

"Our government is to blame," said the officer, who would only give his first name, Valery. "They do not take care of their citizens. In the U.S., after Sept. 11, there were not any more attacks. Here they have not done anything. We get kicked from all sides."

Mr. Putin appeared determined to show that the government would and could act. He said he would soon propose measures to strengthen the nation's unity, to coordinate the political and security structures of Russia's Caucasian republics, and to create a new emergency-management system. The failures of the existing system were painfully obvious in the government's confused and contradictory responses after the bombings of two passenger airliners on Aug. 24 and during the siege in Beslan, in the southern republic of North Ossetia.

Although he made a broad appeal for national unity in the face of terror, he did not mention the war in Chechnya, a struggle linked to all of the attacks that have roiled the country. That suggested he would not consider changing the Kremlin's strategy there, despite years of war and atrocities that have left the Chechen people embittered.

Mr. Putin did not apologize or express remorse for the mounting terror toll, for which critics have placed blame in part on the Kremlin's harsh repressions in Chechnya, but he addressed "those who lost the dearest in their life, their children."

In Beslan, the physical and psychological toll of the siege and its deadly end on Friday continued to mount. At the city's House of Culture, which had turned into a makeshift crisis center, the authorities compiled a list of 205 hostages who remained unaccounted for. Workers and investigators searched the school's wreckage for bodies and evidence; by midday they had discovered 237 bodies.

More than 700 people were wounded, and more than 400 remained in the hospital on Saturday night, 58 of them gravely wounded children, according to Lev Dzugayev, a spokesman for North Ossetia's president. At least seven children died of their wounds on Saturday.

A day after the siege ended with two last blasts and hours of firefights, new details emerged of the attack, which involved more than 30 heavily armed fighters, including Chechens, Ingush, Ossetians and, officials said, some foreigners.

Sergei N. Fridinsky, Russia's deputy prosecutor general for the region, said in remarks reported by news agencies that 10 of 26 fighters killed in the siege's violent climax were foreigners, bu