conjectural navel gazing; jesus in lint form

people blogging

Lately I have shied away from blogging too much about the people in my life. It is not that I am embarassed by them, but that I am very aware of how public this particular medium can be. There is no need to air my personal laundry on a blog. But I have had quite a week or two and I think that some things are appropriate for sharing now...like a popcicle with two sticks. Mmm...popcicles.

Last Friday...a weeke ago...I graduated. I think most folk picked up on that.

I posted about several things, linked to some pictures. It was all in good fun. The thing is that my emotions about some things run too deep for me to just post them all willy nilly. I posted about "my bishop." That was more silliness than real emotion. I do love the man, but you know. I mentioned in the post that Dad took communion for the first time since 1975. This strikes me as more humorous than monumental or fulfilling on some level. Dad does not have to share my faith to be my dad. No risks in posting that. He doesn'y even own a computer.

It was pointed out to me that I did not mention Mom. Well, there is a reason for that. Mom and I have a bit of history, and her attendance at my graduation was a big deal to me. I really cannot share much of how it felt, but suffice it to say that both of my parents parented me that weekend. You know how some of us go into therapy to try to understand the parenting we received? Well, if you were looking to get parented, know that I was parented to within an inch of my life last weekend. It was glorious, but man was I tired. I still am. Just thinking about it gets me choked up.

Dad kept reminding me to comeplete my thesis (No worries...the anxiety dreams are in full swing, Dad. Ruth Meyers keeps showing up in my dreams.) and commended me on my work and encouraged me to work toward a PhD. He and I share a passion for the obscure. Can you get much more obscure than eucharistic practices of Saharan Africa in the 3rd century, or Calvin's deep love for Chrysostom? Maybe, but I am bad at math. So, I get the eucharist and brother John Calvin.

Mom, well, not to embarass her, but she cried when we got home from the service on Sunday. I had asked her what she thought about my communion bit. I was responsible for making the mojo last Sunday. I intended the question to encourage a response like "You know I love whatever you do." or "You have a good speaking voice." or something equally boring and not revelatory. Instead, Mom started to cry.

See, there is this whole history with my grandmother and her that runs deep. My grandmother, Hig, and I were tight. She died of Altzheimers when I was 24. By the time I was 12 or 13, she was pretty much gone, but the memories of time spent with her when I was small are clear as day. I held my mother and she said "Your grandmother should have been here for this. She would have been so proud."

Holding Mom and thinking of Hig took my breath away. My mother loves me very much. My grandmother did as well. Having Mom remind me of Hig's love of the church was like having Hig here and a perfect moment to share with my mother. I have the children's BCP that my grendmother gave me when I was baptised sitting on my dresser. Hig was Catholic, but chose the ECUSA when she married a Universalist, my grandfather, Gordon. She loved the church and loved the eucharist and loved me. To be reminded of all there in that singular moment was too much for me or Mom.

I am grateful beyond measure for my mother remembering that for me. Sometimes we are incapable of remembering things for ourselves. Ask yourself. Do you think that you have people in your life that make those connections for you when you are too preoccupied with graduating or whatever else? I am glad I do.

I cannot think of a more appropriate tale to tell from graduation weekend. It was a lot of good-byes and reminders of connections, friends and family that encompass my entire life. If you read this blog and I have failed to mention you or how much you mean to me, you have my sincerest appologies.

You all honor me with your presense in my life.

Communion Prayer for Pentecost 2004 (observed)

Lord God, from the beginning You loved us.
Christ Jesus, we were scattered to the hills and You gathered us.
Holy Spirit, on the day You decended to us, You transformed us. For us and through us, You gave birth to the church so that we might continue to proclaim your Gospel as You have required.

Continue to teach our hearts, Lord God, to love You and to proclaim Your love to the heart of the world.

Help us to welcome You, Holy Spirit, as we gather together at Your table in this Holy Memory given to us in scripture and through the witness of all your children. For, the Lord Jesus, on the night when he was betrayed, took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, �This is my body that is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.� In the same way he took the cup also, after supper, saying, �This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.� For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord�s death until he comes.

Posted by tripp at June 12, 2004 08:17 AM