April 30, 2004

dire indeed


Brothers and Sisters in faith. There is a heretic among us. Thomas at Endlesslyrocking is attempting to rock the cradle of divine Love. His ice cream polemics are a clear sign of a greater illness in the Church. We all know if the evils of the Smoothe among us. Please, read this previous post and the respective comments. Your help is needed.

Let us all bow our heads and pray for our brother Thomas. The spirit of ice creame idolatry has its icy fingers aroud his poor soul. Let us pray that the Creame which Loves All Chunkiness heal him from this spiritual ailment!

Posted by tripp at April 30, 2004 10:23 AM
Comments

Hmmm. It's a long way from Richmond to the Windy City! But now that I think of it, not a strange place for you to be at all. Life takes old friends in all sorts of directions. And ice cream ranting sort of suits you.

Posted by: Amy Neal Bussey at April 30, 2004 12:02 PM

Thou heretic, thy prayers avail not before the Most Smoothe Throne in that Place Where There Is Neither Nuttiness Nor Chunkiness. Here the words of the Most Blesséd and Glorious Patriarch Seamus XIV of Traverse City: 'Be ye not afraid of the prayers of the chunky ones. Their words floateth just above the floor, but ascendeth not to the Throne. There's is an empty and babbling speech, unlike ours which is smoothe, unadorned, fit for being really better than everyone. Remember that God is Love.'

Repent ye all of the chunkiness, let the smoothe way be for ye life and snacking rapture!

Posted by: Thomas at April 30, 2004 01:08 PM

On thee other hande, we could just get together and burn Voltaire...

Posted by: Thomas at April 30, 2004 01:10 PM

mmmm....burn

Posted by: justin at April 30, 2004 01:47 PM

Burning! Where? When? Who?

I still stand fast on my personal position: If there aren't nuts, is it really faith?

Posted by: Mark J at April 30, 2004 02:24 PM

mmmm.....burning nuts

wait...that is not right. DOH!

Posted by: justin the villiage idiot at April 30, 2004 02:30 PM

Voltaire is a witch. We should burn Voltaire.

Regarding Seamus XIV of Traverse City: Was he too not burned at the stake for his abuse of cashews and his insistance that hamsters are agents of divine sprinkles?!

Posted by: Tripp at April 30, 2004 02:56 PM

mmm...sprikles

burning sprinkles stink

Posted by: justin the villiage idiot at April 30, 2004 03:09 PM

Thou offerest me thy right hand of fellowship in the burning of Volaire, and slap me with thy left hand of schismaticalness with thy insult to the blesséd memory of Seamus XIV. He was not in fact burned for his opposition to cashews and all nuttiness, and a Great Council determined that his views on hampsters is an acceptable theologoumenon. Nay, he was burned for playing tiddly-winks with altar girls, and I'll not have him slandered by such heretics who would say he was burned for any other reason.

As for Volaire, I'll get the kindling...

Posted by: Thomas at April 30, 2004 03:10 PM