Whatever.
You know, I talk a pretty good game for the most part. I even like that about myself. Usually that ability gets me into places where I am way over my head and a I learn a lot. This is a good thing.
Church work, however, just cannot work this way. I am glad I am seeing that now as opposed to ten years from now. Today Pastor Doug and I visited a couple of people in the hospital. Oddly, they have had similar surgeries.
"Andy" is coming through very well. He will have a stage two operation so that he will not spend his life with a colostomy bag. This is great news. He was drugged up and tired. We stayed only a minute.
Then we saw "Agnes." No one knows how old she is. Some say 88. Some say 96. Even her kids do not know. She is old. We saw her a couple of days ago in the ICU following a partial colostomy due to cancer. Today she was talking and lucid in spite of her age and the severity of her illness. She is an amazing woman. When I asked if there was any specific scripture she wanted to hear, she said, "I like it all. Just read. It is all God's word."
These two experiences bookend my saying all sorts of dumbass things to Doug about my frustrations here at North Shore. None of them are unfounded frustrations, certainly. And none of these frustrations are particularay heavy. Yet I can sound like such an arrogant s.o.b. at times. I appologized to Doug. He said he did not notice. I like that about Doug...always willing to lie to save face.
You cannot "act as if" in the church. Where souls are on the line, you cannot make it up asd you go along. Humility demands that you let God work. This is not the same as winging it. Help me get out of the way, Jesus. Help me get out of the way.
Anyway...let the lessons continue.
Posted by tripp at January 9, 2004 04:28 PMA worthy prayer, bro. And one whose echo I hear in my own head.
Posted by: Jane Ellen at January 10, 2004 01:37 PM